A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I fell in love for the first time with a girl which i actually fell in love at first sight. she eventually became my girlfriend and we had our ups and downs in our relationship. but i always forgive her no matter what. She was my first love of my life and i did a lot of things to make her happy like bringing her lunch to her work at the mall and wait for her to get off work so we can spend 10 minutes together before her dad picks her up.the problem is we always have some small arguments and she is always the one breaking up with me. the first time we broke up, she called me and we got back together in 2 days. A few months later she soon fell bored of me and soon broke up with me again for 8 months. I tried to move on but at the same time i want her back. she keeps telling me we will never get back together and she wants me to move on. I felt heartbroken for the first time but soon managed to move-on after the end of high school and soon transferring to college out-of-stateAnd that is when my first love realized she still wants me, and said to me "i guess you dont know what you got till its actually gone" I was to nice and soon took her back but as a long distant, so i try to write her postcards just to show i still love her. she is soon joining the airforce and after she gets out of bootcamp she is going to be stationed in my state im going to college in, so i wanted to wait for her. but soon after about 3 months she grew tired of waiting and just call it quits for the 3rd time and just move on.for that reason I came heartbroken for the 2nd time until today November 2010, and i came to the point i hate her so much by keep hurting me when leaving me so many times, and for never being there for me when i wanted to be there for her but i was always there for her when she needed me. and until today she was my first love but i get pissed off everytime i think about her. and i need her out of my head soon as possible! or i wont be able to move on. So can anyone give any advice or opinions how i can help myself move on from a heart break.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advice, im really trying to keep myself busy and it really helps a lot. Im currently making better of myself. So in the future i will start dating again and will find someone who we can both trust each other to treat each other right.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2010): please just put her rude unkind behaviour down to immaturity more than anything. She is what i often refer to as an 'unevolved' person. Some people never reach their true potential because they remain at a neanderthal unevolved selfish me me me me basic state. Look up Maslow's pyramid in the Library or on the internet. Some people think life is just about the most basic of basic needs. They never think beyond that. Their empathy level is non-existent. They are hard to live with. Whereas the greatest complement i ever give is to call a person fully 'evolved' which means a person who has reached the zenith of understanding. They are at the top of the pyramid of understanding and caring and empathy. Takes years of effort and lots of wisdom to get there. But over time you can think out some of the attributes you think are essential in your life partner and as the mother of your children. And eventually, when your career is on track after you finish your studies you can actively look for that woman to love. In the meantime try to save enough to go on some interesting travels around the world. See new places, mix with interesting people, read widely, join a debating team, read some overseas newspapers on line to get a wider perspective on the world, learn a new language, improve your cooking skills, join a cycling team and keep fit, go visit some amazing buildings in the world, step outside your comfort zone and do some volunteer work, grow as a man to ready yourself for your life's work and your life partner. Your ex is unlikely to reach a level that will match your caring and consideration for others. She was not ready to recognise the goodness within you. Her loss. Your gain that you do not have to waste another moment on her. And you can go out now and enjoy a huge range of experiences without your carping capricious complaing ex pouring cold water over everything all the time. She has done you a favour. Her misery-guts selfishness would tarnish your life and the lives of your children, if your relationship had gone too far.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (9 November 2010):
 It takes time to get over but for me the easiest way to move on is start dating again and have a good time.
You never know you may meet someone else who appreciates you more. Just dont jump in with both feet first, wait a while even if you do love them dont tell them. Keep them guessing, keep something back. Give them space alone time too.
Dont come on too strong, girls get freaked by that in the beginning of a relationship.
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