A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts and uncles. This is long and I apologize but please, please bear with me. I'll be honest, it's hard typing this because this is my younger sister I'm talking about. It breaks my damn heart...My younger sister was dealt a difficult card in life (she has the mental capacity of a seven year old and has a tendency to be very moody). She's 21 now and the problem has only gotten worse as she's no longer in school. My parents have kept guardianship over her and she receives disability checks every month that she uses for her own doing. My parents do not touch her money.My sister is, actually, a very independent person. She can absolutely take care of herself (although she does not have a driver's license, nor a car) but about two years ago, she was also diagnosed with depression. She takes medication for it and goes to counseling once a month, but still, she has difficulty dealing with things socially. She tries to create friendships with people by trying to talk to her friends on Facebook and what not, but no one ever replies to her. She has not hung out with anyone outside of the family since last Halloween.She recently confessed to me that she cries every night wishing she could kill herself but she won't do it because we would all miss her too much. Not too long ago, however, I was on her laptop and found an impressively lengthy story that she's been working on since she was diagnosed with depression. My dad has been trying to help her get published but it's proving to be difficult. A lot of places require a hefty starting price.She's not exactly religious but she used to go to church a lot for the youth groups but now that she's 21, she can no longer participate. I just feel like things are getting more and more difficult for her and I have no idea what to do. My parents have done everything they possibly could to keep her going in life but she's getting older and certain clubs and organizations won't accept her because of her age.I guess the point of this post is wondering what I can possibly do to help her. My boyfriend and I have already discussed the options and when we have the money, we'll be taking her out to dinners and movies and what not. Basically, just to get her out of the house because she desperately needs to. No one in the family is telling me I have to help her out but the part of me that wants to rescue all of humanity is getting the better of me and this is my sister...What is a big sister to do?
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female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (10 August 2013):
 There are adult day cares of sorts where she can spend the day socializing with others. Another option, though extremely expensive, is to invest in a caretaker who can take her out and act almost as a friend.
Can she work? Grocery stores are common employment opportunities for the mentally impaired, and that would give her the chance to be around other people.
As far as her writing goes, send it in to any number of writing contests that go on every year. The price to have her work read will cost you no more than $20, depending which contests you choose to enter her work.
I'd like to laud your efforts (and your boyfriend's!) and investment in your sister. It's wonderful that you refuse to neglect her.
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (10 August 2013):
 i think janniepeg gave fantastic advice. she's absolutely right, cats and dogs do have great powers to heal. my girlfriend was suffering from severe depression and for two years, her only friends were her two cats. they kept her going. sounds depressing, i know. but she's a completely different person now. she's come out of her depression and seclusion from the world. but the point being that it's unconditional love these animals show. especially with dogs. they just love you to death, no matter what. and that sounds like something your sister could use in her life.
as far as how to make friends, has her counselor ever spoken to her about this? learning common social skills is something a therapist can cover with her, and she can try to impliment them into her life. basically, things such as how to make basic conversation and find ways to relate to others. that's something to check into, if she hasn't already done this.
also, are there any local support groups for adults dealing with the same special needs she's facing? there seems to be support groups out there for just about everything now days.
hell, if she can get herself published, that would be a fantastic starting point to boosting her self-confidence. i'll keep my fingers crossed for you and her for that to happen.
take care.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2013): Put her in a home for intellectually disabled people, or find out about day care or day actvities for adults with intellectual disabilities, if she's got the mental age of a seven yr old,realistically she will always be child, she will never be able to be an adult or take care of herself fully, or get a job. At least in a home or in day care she will be taken care of and will be around other people like her. She needs people to take care of her that know how to look after the intense needs disabled people. This is way too much for your parents and you, you need help.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (10 August 2013):
 It's very hard for a special needs person especially when they do want to socialize but doesn't feel worthy of love therefore very isolated and lonely. Friendships are not working now, so I would suggest getting a pet for her. Dogs and cats have remarkable healing abilities and have been known to stop people from committing suicide. Cats are not that high maintenance but if she agrees to a dog, at least she gets to be outside walking with it. Dogs have also been assigned to autistic kids.
Never give up on friendships though. I really hope that the publication thing works out and maybe she can be a spokesperson to bring awareness to the world. She has a great family to start with.
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