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age
30-35,
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writes: Dear cupids, My brother has battled with a lot and is still battling with himself. Since he was thrown out of his father's house at 16 his life had changed drastically. He is 26 years old now and still doesn't know what he wants to do in life. Any time I try to advice him to start doing a part time job or something so he can be making some money, he flares up saying "you don have sense what do you want me to do, you think it is easy". I know he never had a childhood and its almost as if he is living the child hood now as he wants every single thing done for him. He has no plans for the future, his education is slow, he is still in university and has there for almost God knows how long. I and my sister discussed about it and told my mom to talk to him about it but she never did. I know he has been damaged as a child but this is no excuse, I was also damaged too and I am 7 years his junior. He always ask for money every time and if I do not give him, he starts crying, cursing or saying stupid things. What can I do to help him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): "He always ask for money every time and if I do not give him, he starts crying, cursing or saying stupid things. What can I do to help him?"Stop enabling him and allowing him to make you experience ripple effects of similar damage that you successfully made the effort to repair at a much younger age and succeeded.He's well into adulthood, he can either work to overcome dysfunctional childhood as you did or wallow in it by using it as convenient lame excuse, as he currently chooses. Let him know you'll always be there to listen but the ATM is closed, you can't help him if he won't help himself. Tell him what you told DC: "I know he has been damaged as a child but this is no excuse." Sorry you had to experience so much so young; I was very fortunate to be blessed with fabulous parents and happy, loving, stable, secure childhood for which 98% of world population would have traded theirs in an instant, apologies to late parents but my estimates tend to be conservative, don't want to overstate how good siblings and I (now in our 50's and 60s) had it growing up.
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