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How can I help my girlfriend go from oral orgasms to penetrative orgasms?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 February 2011)
A male New Zealand age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have a question regarding my wonderful girlfriend who is amazingly beautiful, very sexy and has a stunning personality. I can make her cum using oral sex. It's like a long build up and then a fantastic release for her.

My problem is that she can't come using penetrative sex even though I've given her oral almost to climax and then penetrated her and tried from there. I've tried fingers and they haven’t been successful either. So how do I train my beautiful partner to go from a clitoral orgasm with oral, which I do love to do anytime, to maybe one with fingers or better yet with me inside her?

Also she seems to be incapable of coming more than once, she doesn’t like starting oral again after a few minutes because she says it doesn’t feel the same.

View related questions: oral sex, orgasm

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A female reader, StraightTalker United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2011):

I can't orgasm from penetration either and from what I know most women can't. As for her not being able to orgasm again, I think thats pretty normal too as I can only orgasm once. Have you ever touched or had your girlfriend touch your penis after orgasm? If so you'll know it feels sort of icky and sensitive. Its exactly the same for women (of course I cant speak for all women, just myself).

I have heard that multiple and vaginal orgasms tend to happen when you're not trying and when she is completely relaxed and turned on so I would just concentrate on the pleaseure that you CAN give her via her clitoris and she might get lucky. Unfortunately as I said it hasn;t happened for me yet and I'm hoping it will one day lol!

But for the time being just keep doing what your doing and you might be in for a nice suprise one day in the future!

Oh and by thhe way this whole notion that "women can have multiple orgasms and men can't" is incorrect and I know this from experience as I had a brief sexual relationship with one guy who ejaculated several times each session (lucky man)and of course I am a female who can;t have multiples so I have come to the conclusion that the reality is that orgasm ability is completely down to the individual and that multiple orgasms are just as rare in women as they are in men. Some people have all the luck lol! :-)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011):

Well, you may never be able to do it, but you can try, but don't neglect the oral side of it...

It may never happen, but if you are making her happy then that is all that matters.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011):

You probably can't, the only thing that might work is if she stimulates her clit during penetration. But why does it matter? You do know most women don't orgasm through intercourse right? You'll see that when some women respond to your post but most never reach climax during penetration and it doesn't matter all because it's still very pleasurable. The most important thing is that you can make her cum.

Oh you could try using a vibrator on her clit during penetration, that's actually pretty effective if she the one in control of it.

Look man in a perfect world every woman would have a mind blowing orgasm every time you enter them but most never do from penetration.

She can come more than once but you have to allow for a cool down period after the first time. You can't dive straight into stimulating the clit after she's cum. The clit gets very sensitive after an orgasm it gets very tender to touch and can actually be painful if you try and stimulate really soon after the first time.

If you want to give her multiple orgasms then mix it up. bring her to climax doing oral and then move on to intercourse after that (or you can just start kissing other parts of her body) but stay away from the clit for a little while until it cools down, then go back down on her, simple as that. After a bit of experimentation you'll figure out her cool down time then you can pretty much give her as many orgasms as you want. But don't be disappointed if she never cums from penetration it's actually very normal.

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A female reader, SusieQ79 United Kingdom +, writes (15 February 2011):

For starters its not unusual. A larger amount of women than you might imagine simply cannot climax through penetrative sex. Me, for one.

Its not unusual and chances are she's completely used to it. It certainly doesn't stop a woman from enjoying penetrative sex.

The worst thing a man can do is set it up as a challenge, or even take it as a personal insult. It has NOTHING to do with you. Its purely us and our crazy bodies.

The last thing we want is a man going at it hammer and tongs desperate to prove himself and exhausting and numbing us in the process. That's the quickest way to get a woman to fake it, just so that you leave her alone.

You both obviously have an active and pleasurable sex life, enjoy yourselves. Try new sensations, take your time, enjoy the journey rather than the destination. Once you've got there, you'll only go to sleep so why rush it?!

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