A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend has been really stressed out and has a lot on his plate to handle and lately he has been abusing prescription meds and marijuana to help him feel better. I'm not okay with it, but i cant make him stop, he has to want to stop.and i want to help him but i don't know what to do. its a very sensitive subject and he doesn't to talk to much about it and gets upset when i tell him i don't like it...what can i do? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (29 August 2011):
Hi there. Prescription meds and marijuana addiction, can be a problem and quite often, people don't realize that they are addicted. They become oblivious.
And yes, as you said, the choice to stop does need to come from him and no-one else.
I believe the solution here, lies in what you focus on.
For instance, to focus only on him stopping his substance abuse, is only a bandaid solution, because it's addressing only the symptoms instead of the cause.
What would be much more productive, would be to assist him with his life issues.
If you don't already know what his issues are, perhaps you could quietly observe him and what he talks about to you and to other people. That's if he ever talks about his private life.
You have said here that he has a few things on his plate at the moment. The age listed here for you, is 18-21 years old, so I'm assuming he's about the same age. With that in mind, are you both still in school?
And if you are both still in school, is he facing his final exams at the end of this year, before entering into college or university?
If this is the case, well then I can imagine that his anxiety could be to do with him worrying that he might not pass with high enough marks to enter into the next stage of his education? Would that be a part of his problems, do you think?
If it is the major part of his issues, these drugs he takes could make the problem worse! In which case, he could fail miserably!
Perhaps when you see him next, you could suggest to him that you both go for a nice long leisurely walk together. You don't have to give him a reason. You could simply say, that it's a lovely day and that it would be nice to go walking. Walking is an excellent way to ease anxiety. Not only does it keep you fit and control your weight, it also relaxes you and helps you to sleep well at night. It's heaps better for you than smoking pot or taking prescription meds. It's also cheaper! And with no dangerous side effects.
If you can get him to do this, he might find that he no longer needs those other substances to see him through.
I would suggest that you both walk together, rather than suggest he go for a walk on his own, because he probably won't do it at all. Then he'll just do what he usually does - take drugs. In any case if you don't go, he would probably just make some excuse not to. So all the more reason for you to walk together.
Try it, it's very therapeutic and is often like a meditation. Much better for relaxing you, than any drug could ever do. Plus it's really GOOD for you!
I hope that you can convince him. And if you do, make sure that it becomes a regular event for you both. You never know with time, he might just do this on his own at his own house, when he's not seeing you. It could become a healthy new habit for him. I certainly hope so anyway.
|
