A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Met this guy about 2 months ago, and he is like so shy. I’m his first ever g/f . As result that he is the proverbial 1 min guy. I try and comfort him but he knows that he is leaving me frustrated. I tell him its ok but it’s like when you tell a guy something like that, it just makes things worse. Foreplay is even worse at times cos that only makes him last even less, when we end up making love he goes all hot and sweaty. Usually I just accept it but it is as frustrating for me as much as it is for him. What can he do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2017): hiI found that some guys are or can be in total awe of a girl. I mean feel intimidated by how they look their beauty so to speak. It might be that he cant quite believe how lucky he is and is panicking thinking he isnt good enough for you. THis happened to me some years ago. The guy had a great personality which i liked he was fun to be around but as looks went he was a very Mr average. I liked him for who he was not how he looked. I think we (girls) sometimes see different things in people than what guys do. They look at our bodies , we look inside the person more . He said one time after we had been together for a while that he worried that as I was so pretty I would have been interested in someone else. He didnt understand why I was with him, even when I told him I loved him for who he was, he felt he wasnt in my league. Guys are like that more than us I think. So what I am saying he might just be panicking 2 much in trying to please you, and that is causing his nerviousness . Try telling him he is special to you and be very gentle. xxxx
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (2 January 2017):
 He definitely shouldn't be having sex with someone your age and it's not making love, OP. You're being used for sex and you haven't realised. How much contraception are you using?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): he 1s almost 2 yrs older than me. he is just nervous thats all and lacks confidence with girls.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 January 2017):
Also, you're clearly not as experienced as you think you are; having sex makes people hot and sweaty. Him ejaculating shouldn't be leaving you frustrated because few people can orgasm from penetration, so he could focus on you after he ejaculates - though I feel like I'm talking about people who are too young for sex because you kind of are.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (2 January 2017):
Honestly, you shouldn't be having sex so soon. You'll get a reputation, if you're not careful. Not only that, but say contraception/protection fails.... You think a 16-17 year old boy will be able to help raise a teenage girl's baby?
OP, you're going *way* too fast. Do you not care whether a guy actually loves you? Or whether you love them? That doesn't happen so soon and you don't sound like he's your first (or even second) sexual partner. This isn't "making love"; it's sex - the difference is huge here.
If you continue moving so quickly, you'll be considered "easy" and you'll be used.
Please slow down. You're over-sexualised for your age and now he is too because he thinks he's supposed to pull off an almost impossible feat of lasting more than one minute when this is all new.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): My bf was kind of similar (he didsnt have much experience) and we just tried different things and for a few weeks didn't bring it ip explicitly. Also sometimes trying again after he comes the first time also works. Ie. After he comes quickly, i'd say positive things like 'that felt so good, you get me so excited. You're so hot when you come.' I'd shower him with kisses and give him a few minutes to recover and then say something like 'i'm still so turned on, wanna go down on me? It feels so good when you do it.' Sometimes he'll get hard again after he goes down on me and we'll try again, and eventually after a few months it became much better.
He is probably also intimidated about not pleasing you, so make sure all your words are about how he pleases you and what you enjoy. Ie. If you say 'it's ok, don't worry' it puts the attention on the fact that he came too quickly, and he will of course worry, but if you say 'you're so hot, will you touch/each me out/give me a long back rub' he can move on to the positives and other things he can do in the moment. Another option is he can make sure you are pleased first, before any foreplay involves him.
make sure to practice safe sex! If he's using his hands after he comes make sure his hands are clean. There are books that describe ways to monitor your fertility to determine when you are fertile or not fertile, most women are only able to get pregnant approx 1 week per month. https://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2017): He's just a kid! You're a bit young to be so sexually-active; and adolescent boys are quite excitable at your age. I do hope you are using condoms.
Sorry my dear, I don't care how mature you're trying to come across yourself; but you're dealing with guys just going through puberty, and that's what you get.
He isn't the one who needs to slow-down. You do!
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