A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am currently engaged to the love of my love who is 19 years old, she her self has been through some very difficult times included losing her father, a drug addiction and she also suffers from bipolar, we have been together for all most 2 years and i am trying to help her peice her life back together, she suffered a miscarriage when she was 4 and a half months pregnant, i was not the father but i know this has deeply affected her and in everything she does, how can i help her get over the lose of this baby, as i feel it is keeping us from being truely happy. and that we wont be until she has come too terms with it, she did lose the baby due to taking drugs and therefore blames her self as she is from a catholic family. please any advice would be greatly appricated, i love her so much. please help
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female
reader, meg2989  +, writes (14 January 2010):
 I'm glad she has someone like you to help her with everything she's been through. As to how you can help her... I think what she really may need is maybe some therapy where she can just talk about what she went through. Its a very hard subject to just "bring up" in conversation, obviously not one that she would really want to, but it sounds to me that she does need to get it "out" so to speak. Talking about things really does help. I suggest therapy because she needs the support and reassurance that some in that profession could provide. Remember it may take a while to get over this, its not something that one session of therapy will "cure" to put it simply. And even when she has moved passed this hard situation there will be times where she will think of the baby, and she will probably grieve about it. That is completly normal to do, losses are always difficult even when you have moved passed them. If/ when she does, just be sympathetic, don't say too much, just let her talk and hold her if you can. I had an unwanted abortion before, it was hard to move passed, but within several months I did so, but there are still times, even now when I just find myself thinking about it and I do get pretty weepy. Talking about it helped me a great deal which is why I think it would help her too. I hope talking about it or going through therapy can help her with it, I'm sure that you have helped her, probably more than you know. I really do think its wonderful that you want to be with her and help her straighten out her life. I hope my advice helped. Best wishes and good luck to you both. ^_^
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