A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey I need help. My mom is constantly blackmailing me about my bf and won't let me see him very often. She doesn't really like him and hasn't given him a chance. His parents arnt being very nice either. But he's a really sweet guy. We've only met once and my mother keeps saying she's gonna cancel the 21st when were supposed to meet again. She won't let us be alone. She won't let him walk over to my house to pick me up and walk me where were going. He can't drive because he has anxiety attacks when he gets behind the wheel. My mom won't let me move out till I get married either. Its killing me because I can't stand how she acts. She won't let me go anywhere by myself and she makes a big deal if I even mention moving out. She threatens to take stuff away from me and she really has no right. I'm 18 years old 19 next month and she still treats me like a child. Sorry this is so long but I need advice. I'm planning on moving in with my bf in december I wish it was sooner but I can't because I need a job first and I can't get one till november because I need crowns on my teeth before hand. My mom also gets mad at me because I want to work where my bf does. Plz help me. I don't know how to handle this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Madam Taylor  +, writes (12 June 2008):
You are still very young and your mother may be a little over protective but she is still your mother and weather you like it or not she is probably right more than half of the time. it sounds to me though that you are making all your decisions based upon your boyfriend, best tip dont. Don't revolve work around a boyfriend and at 18 he is the last one you should move in with, I could explain this to you till I'm blue in the face but you won't get it cause all that exists in your world is him, let me tell you that in the real world he is only a small part, have fun don't get so serious so young. You are not ready for the responsibilities that come along with the decisions you are making.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (12 June 2008):
I have to agree with neonpink a bit here.
You need to meet someone more than once before they are your boyfriend, let alone to decide to move in together, especially when he's too scared to even drive a car. Moving in carries some serious emotional stuff with it. Do you really think he could handle it?
However having said that, your mum does sound VERY controlling. You need to talk to her and ask her what she wants you to do in life. Does she really expect you to sit at home until some man arrives to take you off and marry you? Talk to her about your career plans and make her see that you are thinking about your life in a mature way.
Once she sees you are trying to do what she wants then she might loosen up a bit about you going out with friends etc, and even meeting a boy.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): My mother knows hardly anything about him. She won't even get to know him better unless its on her own terms.
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A
female
reader, neonpinkngooey +, writes (12 June 2008):
 As we all know, parents can be so controlling. But sometimes, they are right. You haven't really told us much about him. I can't say if your moms actions are justified, but it is a possibility. What does your mom know about your boyfriend so far, that she won't even give him a chance? Please try to put yourself in her shoes for a few minutes.
Perhaps she is worried that you are taking this too seriously. You have met him once, and yet you want to move in with him? Don't you think this decision has been made a little hastily?
Maybe you can have your mom warm up to this new boyfriend. Invite him over to have dinner. I am sure that once your mom gets to know him a little better, she will have a more educated opinion of him.
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