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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello, this may seem as a strange question, but I'm giving up on relationships. Forever.The problem is I always had this fantasy of getting married and having children, but I think it'd be too difficult for me to mantain relationships. I'll just never be enough and that upsets me.You se,, for once I have only had one real relationship and he just dumped me because he said I was always giving him trouble. I know we're both to blame, especially since the problems arose when he started complaining about my past, he said it was slutty (I never had sex before him, only making out here and there with a couple of strangers and a friend with benefits). Well, he was always complaining, and sometimes he'd call me names, or ignore me, etc. I became very needy. And insecure.Also I'm insecure because of course I've noticed there are always girls who are way prettier than me. I was even teased at school, guys told me I could fix myself with plastic surgery. I just hate my body. And I dislike my face and hair. I'll never be oretty enough for any man, I'll never be gorgeous, just plain. Truly, my body and face are boring. And porn. All giys watch porn, and I'm too insecure to be with a guy who enjoys it, especially since I have tiny breasts and all guys I know are into "huge knockers"... even my ex. I don't want the guy I'm with to have to deal with my insecurities. So I'm better off alone. Plus all of this makes me very sad and bitter and I just rather deal with this myself as no else shuld have to deal with it.So the question is, how can I give up on my dream of marriage and a family, and find happiness and fulfillment in singledom? For life that is! I don't think I'll ever get over my insecurities, I'll always want to be someone's prettiest, but I'll never be her. I'm 20 already, so there's no "growing into a pretty woman". I'll never be enough for a man and that upsets me. And my ex always used to tell me my breasts were too small. Plus I feel awful after this break up because he blamed it on me and my insecurities and neediness, etc.What can I do? Get 50 cats?
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breasts, friend with benefits, insecure, my ex, porn Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): Babes, that guy was an idiot, who put you down and took all your confidence. Give it time, and stay away from men like him. Soon you'll feel better and a new nicer guy will come your way.
If you stay single with 50 cats, he will laugh at you, because a guy like that just would love to see you all alone. Don't give him the pleasure of causing you to destroy your life. Fight back, get happy, there are better guys than he. He's a jackass, and he's got the problem, not you.
A
male
reader, SinVA  +, writes (10 December 2008):
Just wait till you meet a guy like me.
There are plenty of us out there. We love spending time and being with our women and giving all our love to them. Letting them know how beautiful they are and how badly we we want them.
I'm 21 and having recently got out of a long relationship I feel super lonely and can't wait to meet someone who will share with me the same love that I have. If there is anything I've learned from this site it is not to give up hope because there is someone out there for you and me.
So though you feel depressed now, know you have years ahead of you, and somewhere down the road when you least expect it you'll meet someone who will make your last boyfriend vanish from your mind. Goodluck and hope that comes soon for both of us.
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A
male
reader, steaknife +, writes (9 December 2008):
I can't say I know what to do. But I can say that not all guys want the large busted women. And i must agree that self-confidence helps. the last guy, WAS trash. personally i don't think any person should treat another that way. and believe me, there are guys that do not want the woman that has a large bust size.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): NO NO NO dont do it your so young you CANNOT give up on relationships because of this bad relationship
you might feel bad and have a break from relationships for a while but not for the rest of your life definitely no!
heaps of guys i know hate the idea of having a "porno queen" looking and acting gf
those guys think they look ugly and slutty and practically give themselves to every guy by having huge fake boobs slipping out of their tops and its all so ugly and trashy and no real man wants to proper relationship with girls like that!
you are unlucky to have landed with one of the stupid shallow worthless guys who has abused you emotionally and left you with a bad self esteem!
not all guys watch porn
probably all guys have watched porn before as its like everywhere
i know guys that find porn disgusting and insulting and ugly and degrading to women and know they should be happy with the real thing and real women!
im a 17 year old girl and have the smallest boobs ever they are barely there and you know what? i love them! they are cute and sexy and never get in the way and guys take me seriously and want a real relationship with me instead of just a "enjoy and forget" thing and guys actually talk to my face not my boobs and i get guys telling me they love me all the time and i have a wonderful bf of 2 years that i met when i was in a most unflattering bikini that made me look totally flat (dont know why i bought that) but he still went for me and now we are happy together!
so believe in yourself!
you are beautiful and great and smart and sweet and with a little confidence boost guys will come flocking in and you will not end up alone
its your ex that is ugly and stupid and shallow and selfish enough to have treated you like that he is more likely to end up alone than you feel sorry for him!
believe in real relationships with real men!
:)
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A
female
reader, Amsieee(:  +, writes (9 December 2008):
 okay sweetie i say this with love
THAT GUY IS A PRICK!
yet i understand your need to please and to be good enough.i hate my nose my mum hates her gouges my sister hates her big feet and my friends are always saying how fat they are!
we all wish things. its not about how you look its about the light they see you in. so what if you arent the prettiest of women. they proberbly get used more to be honest the guy that takes the time to look deeper than skin is the one.
the neediness won't help this so do stuff and make yourself feel better about yourself bit by bit - baby steps. just dont give up cats fur gets everywhereee ;D
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