A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys what should I do about this girl...Me and my bf have been together for 6 months now and we are becoming serious but there's this girl who fancies my bf, but my bf likes as a mate but said he would never date her. She isn't very attractive but she keeps going to his form room and I have heard she texts him a lot. Now my bf is doing this activity thing and she has tried to rearrange some places so she can be in the same group as him she really hates me and I have tried talking to her and being nice but all she came out with was snide comments about me and my bf. If she sees me she ignores me and when I see my boyfriend and she is hanging around his mates she will go over to him and she throws her arms around him and tries to hug him. He ignores it but the thing is I don't know what to do. She isn't very popular and had to move schools because no one liked her but my bf doesn't seem to get she is horrible to most people outside of her form but puts on an act in front of him. I have tried talking to him a little bit and they used to be good mates before I became mates with my bf, then we got together cos we were in a class together. Thank goodness they don't have any classes together, but he has backed off a lot and they didn't see each other for a while, but now she is back and has tried badmouthing me in front of him. He told her not to say bad stuff about me I'm not going to tell him to not be mates with her, but how do I get rid of her without her stirring stuff between me and my bf?!?!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 December 2012):
 There is really NOTHING you can do. He has to tell her to back off....
I would totally IGNORE all her bad behavior... and I would "kill her with kindness"
be as kind as you can to her and when she does or says something nice... respond in kind... you can train her this way to be kind to you...
as for your BF... not much you can do about him in terms of her...
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 December 2012):
 You BF knows you two don't get along, but he really doesn't seem to care - does he?
I don't think YOU trying to "dictate" who your BF can be "mates" with and who he can, is a good idea.
Have you asked him why he didn't do/say anything when she was badmouthing you? If not I would talk to him, ask him to not discuss YOU with her and you won't discuss HER with him any more.
I think your best bet in this situation is taking the high road. That means do be rude or mean to her, just simply ignore her and her antics. The more she gets a rise out of you the more she "wins" ground.
Also if she is having to move school due to having trouble with other kids, then I guess she doesn't have many friends/mates and maybe that is why your BF hangs onto her, because he knows her for who she was when they were younger. Or maybe he just like the help the "underdog".
Don't make her a big deal. Don't tell him you can't be mates with her. At the rate things are going they might stop talking sooner rather then later.
BE the bigger person.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 December 2012):
 The rational thing really is for your boyfriend to stop being mates with her. She is hurting you and he should not be friends with anyone who hurts your feelings. I would say the only reason why your boyfriend is not unfriending her is because he likes the attention. I heard that some guys get a perverted sense of high when two girls catfight over them. Always keep your cool and don't get emotional over her. She would then see it's all one sided and acting like a pest. When she sees that there is nothing to stir she will get bored and leave you alone. If your relationship with your boyfriend is solid then no one is able to rock it.
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