A
male
age
41-50,
*a1nkman
writes:Me and my fiancée used to have a very close, fun, sexual, intimate relationship. 5 months ago she got pregnant and since then its like everything has come to a hault. She never wants to be intimate, we aren't very talkitive anymore, the sex almost doesn't exist anymore unless I ask for a few days. She is always acting distant and quiet with me but is out going and happy with everyone else. All of this is making me feel very insecure and when I try to bring it up it turns into a fight and some how I become the asshole that's doing something wrong by wanting to be close and have a happy relationship does anyone have any advice as to how I can get her to open up again and bring the relationship back to life? I do anything she asks for her to be comfortable or whatever with her being pregnant. But I still need something in return I can't stay in a one way relationship.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 September 2011):
 I guess it's difficult for us men, 'cuz we plant the seed, then expect that all will be just the same for the next nine months....
Pity the poor recipient of that seed..... Her body now takes off on its journey to spawn a new life. Her chemicals take off on the task of "telling" her to protect what is within her... and that she will help bring the species along....
What's the problem with "sitting out the last quarter" of the game whilest she proceeds to bring about the best thing that YOU'RE ever going to have?????
I say relax and have a love affair with your hand for a while......
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2011): I agree, wholeheartedly. The first time I was pregnant, I was scared that something would happen to the baby; often when we had sex, my legs would be up on his shoulders and he would be up against my cervix. Logically, I knew it could hurt the baby, but emotionally it scared the crud out of me. We eventually ended up finding a couple of new positions that were just as fun for both of us.Around the time I was 6 months prego, sex became incredibly uncomfortable. I tried a few times, but it just wasn't any fun at all for me, even painful. It really meant a lot that my then-husband was understanding and did things to keep the intimacy going without pressuring me for sex since I already felt guilty that I was depriving him, which he misinterpreted as me being pensive.Btw, we were back to our old 2-4x a day within 8 weeks of the baby's arrival.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (20 September 2011):
 I am really sorry you are having this problem, as I agree that pregnancy should be a time of real joy and harmony between a couple.
There must be something going on here. OK, the first thing is that the first time you are pregnant, you are often scared that something will happen to the baby if you have sex, and so you push your partner away in obvious and subtle ways, because you just don't want to go there. It is really a kind of protective act towards the baby, and also self-protection. I think this might be what is happening. What you need to do is talk to her about it, and explain things as you have here (but not in a hurt/accusing sort of way - just start by saying you don't mind if she doesn't want to have sex, but she doesn't need to push you away - say you won't try anything on - you just want to be able to be close, cuddle, etc, but without sex). I think you need to take the pressure off. (You won't die if you have to wait a few months for sex to resume ...) You need to find out what she is worried/upset about. I think probably just the whole thing of being pregnant. It is terrifying, in a way, if it is the first time. A totally different experience.
Try talking. Try saying you don't want sex. Get her to come to you. And don't feel insecure - this is ONLY happening because she is pregnant, so find out what is going on in her head.
Good luck. And remember, she won't be pregnant forever ; )
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