A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have always had trouble reaching orgasm through intercourse but can do so by using sex toys (whether vibrating or not). I have found that I need the friction that toys provide in order to achieve orgasm where with an actual penis, it seems that the foreskin is only creating sensation for him, not me which leaves me feeling frustrated. Is there anything I can do to get that friction that I need? I have tried many different positions with my partner but none of them give me that friction that I need to enjoy sex.
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foreskin, orgasm, sex toy Reply to this Question
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female
reader, person12345  +, writes (10 April 2011):
 I meant the bullet kind, not an insertable one. They are only for stimulating your clitoris and very easy to add in during sex and shouldn't make him feel inadequate.
A
female
reader, moon river +, writes (9 April 2011):
 Try using the pleasure max condoms, the ones that are ribbed and dotted
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your help guys. To add to the information, I rarely use toys as I am quite small and don't have anything to use that isn't a little big. To be honest, it's not a girth issue, a finger works just as well if not better inside. It's not that it needs intense friction, just some friction would be nice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): You have the same problem I had. I was masturbating too much and thus I desensitised my dick. I was going for more that 4 hours and not cumming.Stop using the vibrators and go back to your hands. Your vagina will go back to getting pleasure from his penus that way. It may take awhile. If you keep using toys, you will just make him feel inadequate and he will start resenting you.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (9 April 2011):
Unfortunately, most women cannot get enough stimulation from sex alone to reach orgasm (around 75% never reach orgasm during penetration). If you really want to orgasm during penetrative sex you're going to have to either add in a toy, or add in your own hands. There's absolutely nothing wrong or abnormal about only being able to reach orgasm through other methods (it's actually the normal way to get there) like oral sex, fingers, or even a vibrator. Many women need a vibrator to orgasm, and there's no reason you can't incorporate it in. There are ones you can buy that fit around his penis that a lot of people really like. Don't beat yourself up over this, it's actually rare to orgasm from penetration.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): Try kegel exercises to strengthen your vaginal muscles and make them tighter that should help. Try to stop using your toys for a little while too, if you want an orgasm stick to clitoral stimulation. Believe it or not the action you use when your using toys might just not be replicable with a real penis and using your toys that way may just be desensitizing you to actual sex.
I had friend who had a problem like that. It was a guy but I think the principle may be the same. You see he couldn't get the right kind of friction with his girlfriend either. It turned out his problem was his masturbation. He used to grip very tight and move fast and hard to cum while doing that and there is no way his girlfriends vagina could replicate that effect so he just couldn't feel anything.
He stopped masturbating for a while and his sensitivity returned and he was able to get off having sex again.
Give it a try, you have nothing to lose really. Don't penetrate yourself with anything other than his penis, give it a bit of time and see if it helps. Do kegels too, the tighter you are the better friction you will get.
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