A
female
age
41-50,
*affymr
writes:Hi, my boyfriend of 8 yrs had a one nite stand and now a female is carrying a baby from him. She was a stripper.he says he is sorry I want to still be with him try work things out for us we have kids together,but how do I deal with this sex I may have dealt with it different but a baby? she didn't know about me, but now she knows and the child isnt born yet what should I do?
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male
reader, NotTheHallMonitor +, writes (24 April 2011):
Well if he's enjoying Strip Clubs, then yeah, he's not in relationship with you. Strip Clubs or Adult environments are going to be the last place you find healthy or stable type of "relationships". I would seriously consider paying her to get out of his life, or just end it. He may be more happy living fantasy style by being single and just not admitting it. There is nothing wrong either way. But if that is the case, the word of "serious relationship" does not apply. You need to remember that the guys have different priorities than women, we always have, and he enjoys the more loose type fun on the side with very little interest in friendships.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): If you want to stay with him theres not much you can do. Not only will you have trust issues to work through but also the cause of his cheating. You will have to deal with his babys mother and the baby and by default bare the financial costs too. If he wants to see the child, you will have to explain things to your own children as they will have questions. Theres also the type of contact that he will have with this woman for many years to come. And the constant reminder that hes a cheater. Can you cope with all that and still feel happy to be with him? He has landed you all in a real mess. And it may not be the first time hes cheated, just the first time its causes a pregancy. So bare that in mind and go to a sexual health clinic for a check up asap. Personally i would ask him to leave but i know its not always that easy.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 April 2011):
 I think the real question is why would you still want your boyfriend?1) He potentially exposed you to AIDS and a host of other nasty VDs by his indiscretion. 2) His paycheck will likely be garnished to pay for child support3) You'll forever have to live with the embarrassment that your boyfriend cheated on you with a stripper and got her pregnant (should make interesting holiday dinner table conversation, I am sure).4) This woman will always be in his life -- or at least for the next 18 years.I do sympathize with you however (don't get my wrong). Being betrayed is hard and especially after investing this much time in your relationship.I think you honestly need to think about whether you have a future with this guy. Sure he is sorry, but sometimes that's not enough. Only you can decide if it is. I hope you go into this situation with your eyes wide open and make sure you know the type of man you are calling your boyfriend.Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, hdh2170 +, writes (9 April 2011):
maybe we shouldn't be so judgmental of strippers... previous responders... Do what you feel like you can handle. If are able to get past the cheating without it eating at you AND deal with a paying for a child... check out paternity rights of children... mostly $ owed... then yeah, stick with it. If he has been your boyfriend of 8 years then you must know by now if you are willing to stick with it. MAYBE she is looking for financial gain, but MAYBE not. If she didn't know about you it isn't exactly her fault, but clearly they were engaging in risky behavior if she got pregnant. You are not obligated to take care of this baby or stay with your boyfriend if this is a deal breaker of sorts for your relationship. You aren't less strong if you do or don't, you aren't a better person if you do or don't. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): If you are okay on ur future kids being the bothers and sisters of that stripper's kids then yeah go ahead,
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): I have two words for you to help short term.Paternity test.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): Coooome on she's a stripper whats to prove it's your boyfriends? like how was your bf found after all this why did she remember him? and how did she find him? :/ sounds fishy to me i wouldn believe its his.. check that out?
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