A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, i really need your help here. I wrote up just before christmas i think the title of my question was "i don't want to think about her like i do becuase i don't want to be bi". Anyway i have come to realise i'm not gay or bisexual but i still am really really confused. The teacher i was on about taught be a junior school and we never really spoke,she never taught me for alot of things but was on of the teachers in my year group. This isn't like my last post where i thought i had feelings for her and didn't want to but i would like someones opion on al this. I've felt the same way for about 5-6 years but obviously as i've got older i've started to understand about these things which sorta got me confused on how i feel. WEll i sort of feel as if i love her but not in a sexual way just like you would your friends which i find really weird because everytime i walk past her ir see her i get really uncomfortable and her general smell is just something to die for, its really nice which is really weird because although i may feel this way about her i also hate her-well i say hate her i hate the side i saw when i was at that school, although she was funny and friendly to certain people she was also very mouthy and was just one of those people you loved to hate. When i went back to that school when i was on work experience i saw her again but didn't look her in the face(i don't really do that anyway i suppose thats one reason i feel uncomfortable being anywhere near her incase she recognises me-i even feel weird about walking to the shop on the estate near me because i know she lives around there,from the fear of seeing her) but i found out that she had got divorced, i also found out that another treacher had and obviously alot had changed since i was there but the thing wad i couldn't care less about the other teachers but it seemed to hit me abit when i realised she had-abit like i was worried about her inside but not worried as you would be if it was an actual friend or relation. I didn't feel anything for her just the sort of feeling you would feel if you found out a long term friend had got divorced. I don't really know why i feel like this as i can't stop thinking abouy her, i'm find if i'm with others but i'm always thinking about her when i'm on my own. I do love her but only as you would a friend apart from the fact we never really spoke so i'm just so confused. I don't want these feelings to take over my life but i feel like it is but on the other hand i don't want to forget her. I don''t know what these feelings are tell me? It's like ican't get her out of my head but then again i can't bare to be near her. Is this normal and do you think it will pass cuz i thought it would 3 yrs ago but it hasn't? Help please.
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male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (11 April 2007):
 You're still carrying the aftermath of a big crush on this teacher. Such things, especially when they hit as early as yours did, take a long time to go away and are not easy to remove from our mind.
It will be uncomfortable for a while longer. The trick is to allow your normal sexual instincts to develop as they should at this age. Get involved in romances with people your own age. I say "romances" because you are still at an age where your tastes and ideas are going to be changing rapidly, and the person who is "just perfect" for you today may not be so perfect for you in a few weeks or a few months ... not because you didn't love that person, but because you have grown.
In time, these natural interests will take over your mind and your heart, and the interest you had in your teacher when you were so very young will fade from your memory.
It's a big and interesting world with lots of people to meet and get to know and (hopefully) to love. Enjoy it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): This is probably due to something called the 'negetive mother complex'. Do you have a dominant mother? If so, this is why you are feeling this way, due to a need for a mother. If you like, you could purchase the book 'the basic writings of C.G.Young' where you will find out all about this.
Good Luck
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