A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I broke up with my partner. In that time he had two other women. (seperately) anyway recently we have been talking a lot and the other nite he rang and asked if he could come over. We had a good talk and he told me that he wants to be with me. The feelings between us are still there. We spent the night together. I am quite sure that he is genuine but I have trust issues because he has hurt me so much. I dont wana get hurt again. He is a decent man and I love him and I believe he loves me but how can I move past the hurt. How can I trust him again. Any advice appreciated. Thank you!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009): Thankyou for your responses, all of them usefull. We have a child together & he said he wants to put our family back together. He also said that through everything, im the only one who has stuck by him. I dont know if he is just coming back because it suits him right now or if its because he really does want to make it work. As you all said, i will just have to wait & see. I will keep my guard up because i went through a lot of heartache. I will try to stay positive. Ps. He lost my trust because he left me. He let me do it all on my own. He chose something else for a wile. Im not sure i believe that he truly loves me. I ask myself, was he just messed up or is he just sellfish. Time will tell i guess. Thankyou to all of you for your advice. KB
A
female
reader, Twistedbaby420  +, writes (2 May 2009):
 Trust is something that can be easily destroyed, and is quite difficult to get back. If you truly believe that he is genuine with what he says, I think you two should talk things out and that you should proceed slowly. If at any point your intuition is telling you something is wrong, listen to it!
You mentioned that he had been with two other women while you two were separated, however you didn't provide any reasons for why the two of you broke up specifically... what exactly did he do to lose your trust? That might help with answering your question more directly.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (2 May 2009):
 The truth is we never know if we can trust the person who hurt us before. The only thing we can do is ask ourselves if that person is worth you maybe getting hurt again. I'm not a believer in not giving people second chances. Ultimately it is up to you. Search your heart. If you decide to give it a try, however, keep your guard up for a while. Don't fall back into his arms right away.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2009): I think it would just be best if you just moved on. If he has hurt you once, he's more than likely to do it again. But if you do not want to do that, straight up tell him that it'll take time for him to regain your trust, because that's what it will take.
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