A
female
age
41-50,
*reenlisa
writes:when i was a little girl i was abused by a family member this carried on until i was 17. I have spent such a long time feeling guilty because i never did anything to stop it even tho i knew what was happening was wrong i was so scared that nobody would believe me and i would loose my family. im now 29 and am stronger than i ever have been before i have gained lots of confidence and have decided to leave the past in the past. although there is one problem that no matter how hard i try i just cant seem to get past. everytime i have sex i feel dirty and hate myself afterwards. If i am completely truthfull i have never once actually wanted nor enjoyed sex but have gone through with it just to keep my ex partner happy. I have now recently met the most wonderful man he really does care for me and as made it clear that sex isnt important to him but i want to have sex with this man not so much for the sex but because i want a normal relationship i want to be able to enjoy that closeness i just dont know how to get past the emotions i feel. how can i overcome this and finally put an end to what my family member did to me i just want to be normal. i know there is no simple answer and it may take a long time but i am willing to try anything. i hope someone can help thankyou xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2012): I no ppl who have the same situation my friend got conceiling and also she did what she had 2 and made sure she got over it its in her head still hear in there but she forgave her father and moved on she told me she never said it to him but she isn't mean or rude towards him nemore she said she felt releaved and could really restart her life life won't be easy though she thinks of it and then she thinks I'm not going to let someone ruin my life and she forgets for a while honestly if u can't b intament u should try maybe laying naked together or showering together babyy steps to healing what ever u feel comfortable with don't push if u can't handle it tho and don't feel bad others have been through this but seeking help is ur best bet good luck 2 u and I hope u heal soon god bless
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2012): You need to see a therapist or psychiatrist. I really dont' think this is something that one can do on their own.
your bf may say sex is not important to him but trust me it will be as time goes on and nothing is happening there. so don't waste another minute - get into counseling as soon as possible.good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 May 2012):
 You need to seek professional help to deal with this, its not something you can do on your own.
Contact a women's group or child protection group or agency to find out where and who is available in your area.
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