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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of seven years broke up with me about a year ago. I have a new boyfriend but there is a problem. After we make love I start thinking about the loss of my other relationship and get quite upset...I usually cry. I just do not understand this and do not know where the tears are coming from. I also feel guilty towards my current boyfriend. Does anyone have any ideas on why this is happening?
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female
reader, harley_quinn +, writes (23 September 2006):
 7 years is a long time. It's pretty much like being married and getting divorced. My boyfriend just broke up with me about 9 months ago and we were together for 4 years. I could imagine what it's like now to get a divorce. I can't even think about getting into another relationship. People heal differently so maybe it's that you have not yet healed from your past relationship and maybe you don't really love your new boyfriend 'cause if you did why would you cry? I don't know but do what makes you happy.
A
female
reader, Tiagre +, writes (23 September 2006):
Listen, firstly you need to try your best to get over your ex. This can involve getting rid of (or putting away, although in my experience this isn't as theraputic as physically binning) any things you can that remind you of him, including photos. Next, think of all your memories with him and have a good cry, and then remind yourself that that is past now, and you need to move on with your life. You can't dwell on this forever and you really need to start appreciating your current boyfriend. Don't compare them, but think of all the good values that your current partner has. From now on, make a mental effort not to think about your ex so much.
If you have problems with that, try to wean yourself off it as though it were an addiction. Start by spending only 15 minutes a day thinking about him for a week. If you think about him outside the 15 minutes you set aside, push it to the back of your mind and tell yourself to move on. Next week, make it 10, then 5 and so on, until you rarely think about him and never miss him.
Take care xxx
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (23 September 2006):
 7 years is a long time to be with someone and now it's gone and your going to feel upset and hurt for what you've lost but you really need to think about your future with your new boyfriend and concentrate on that.
When you make love with your boyfriend you needs to wipe your mind of your ex and everytime you feel him coming into your thoughts replace them with ones of your future with your new boyfriend.
Good luck :o)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2006): It is hard getting over a ex from a long time but you shouldn't cry as you might worry you bf.. try and relax and focus on the future you and ur bf now have and forget about the past.. its not easy. Especailly from a 7year relationhip. take a break enjoy urself
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (23 September 2006):
 Its simple, you still have strong feelings for your ex boyfriend, and this leads me to ask you why is he your ex and not your current boyfriend? You need to be honest with your boyfriend and yourself, dont be with someone when you are thinking of the past, it means you were never ready to move on. Take care. xXx
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