How can I get over these invasive visions of him reconciling with her?

A female age 51-59, *hlinki writes:

Ive been dating this wonderful man for about four months now...and we are planning on getting married and spending the rest of our lives together...he is a soldier and is currently in korea...he is divorced and has been for a couple of years prior to meeting me...he has previously told me that hes totally over his ex...they split up initially because she cheated and then filed for a divorce...she then wanted to work things out with him and he tried but just couldnt get over the fact that she had been with someone else so he left...he has four children that he loves dearly...and hasnt seen them for over a year...he is finally going on vacation for 15 days to visit his children...and i truly am happy for him because he talks about his kids so much and i know how much he misses but i cant get over the worry of him spending so much time with his ex wife...i have briefly expressed my concern and he has told me basically that i have nothing to worry about that he loves me and she doesnt compare but i still have these invasive visions of him reconciling with her....how do i handle this?

View related questions: divorce, ex-wife, his ex, split up

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A female reader, shlinki  +, writes (19 August 2010):

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