A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dread having my picture taken. When someone pulls out a camera, I usually try to get out of having my picture taken. It's because while at first I sometimes like my pictures, but I'll just sit and stare, and start finding all sorts of little things wrong with myself. Do others perceive me the same way, with all these flaws? It will be something silly I find wrong, too. For example, today I was dressed nice, and my husband wanted to take my picture. When I saw it, at first I was okay with it. I put it on the computer and posted it to Facebook. Then I saw it on my phone while scrolling through my newsfeed later. I thought it looked terrible on my phone. To me, it looked like my neck and chest were lighter than my face. It didn't look that way on the computer. I know that can happen if someone wears the wrong shade of makeup, but I never wear makeup so I don't get why it looked that way. But when I saw that I regretted posting it. No one liked or commented on it, either. Before today, I didn't even have a picture on Facebook because of how bad I generally look in pictures. I think I'm too obsessed with this. I literally stared and stared at the picture for 5 minutes. I then started to think my face looked ugly as well as not matching my neck and chest. Does anyone else do this? I guess that's mainly want to know. And is it normal?
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female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (20 March 2015):
The camera does'nt love all of us. I'm like you. I hate having my photo taken but will grin (literally) and bear it for family photos etc So you're not alone on this one. There are some people who look attractive in person but awful in a photo and vice versa. My advice is...play around with a camera. When you're alone take some photos and see what angles you look good in. What parts of your body do you not like and try and distract attention from them in photos. When I had acne, i'd take photos in bright light or dim light. Also look at celebrity photos and try and copy poses you like.That way if you see a pose you like e.g Obama's big grin, practise it and take a photo to see what it's looks like on you. You may look good smiling/grinning and awful tight lipped. Just have fun with the camera. Also if someone asks to take a photo with you, don't feel embarrassed to suggest where and how they take it E.g if you look better sitting down suggest you sit somewhere while they take the photo. I've been there too so you're not alone with hating photo calls.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2015): This is why I deactivated my Facebook. I was becoming too concerned with what people on the Internet thought about me. And to this day I ask myself 'why?' Why is posting a pic to Facebook and counting to see how many 'likes' you get so important?
Back in the day, people would take a roll of film, develop it, you'd pick out the good ones and frame them, hang them on your wall in your house for your family and friends to see. You'd send a good family pic as a Christmas card or to your grandparents. You could make a scrapbook. You could get really creative. Pictures of yourself and your family was a personal matter. Only your inner circle had access to that. The people who actually matter. And it'd save you the scrutiny of giving a shit what people who are not even significant in your life think.
I think since the advent of reality tv, where perfect 'nobody's got there 15 minutes, many other outlets caught on, (including Facebook), where they provide a platform where anybody can have their faux sense of popularity and 'fame' on a large often anonymous scale. They amass a 'following' and gain a sense of importance based on the importance their 'friends' and 'followers' place on their posts.
It's kind of absurd if you ask me. Who am I and what have I ever done to deserve 'followers'? And wtf do I care what 'everybody' thinks of my posts and my pics? Well I did care for a while. I got swept into the whole trend. I would check back to Facebook throughout the day to see how many new likes I got. I would compare my likes to other people's likes. And I'd even feel inferior when I got just 10 likes while someone else racked up 120. My picture was better! And I thought wtf am I thinking? This is so stupid and such a waste of time. It was almost like affecting my sense of worth. So I deleted my account. And I don't miss it at all.
I think the important thing here is that your husband thinks you are beautiful. That is why he wanted to take a picture of you. That's really sweet. Your parents and all your family think you are beautiful. And so do your friends. And if you have kids, they think you are beautiful and awesome. I bet if they saw this picture you speak of, they'd all think you look very pretty.
Stop concerning yourself with the opinions of people who in the grand scheme of things, do not matter. And seek your confidence and self worth with the people who love you. They'll always give you a million likes. Cause to them, that's what you deserve.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 March 2015):
 I'd say LEARN to find your "good side" for when others take pictures. If you stay out of every photo from now on, you will regret it in 10-20 years.
Everyone have a "pose" that takes advantage of their best features, FIND yours.
And FIND your best features and emphasize those.
So WHAT if you posted a picture you later on didn't like..? Eh, it's Facebook. And honestly WHO cares how many "likes" you get for a picture? There is more to life then "collecting" likes on Facebook.
Most people don't like their own pictures. I have some where I barely recognize myself and others I sorta like. But eh, they are all just a reflection of me, I look the way I look regardless of a bad photo or not! So do you!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2015): I was honestly just doing the same thing. I was scrolling through all the pictures I was tagged in on Facebook, and I hate almost each and every one. The only good ones were from my my high school prom and graduation...I do think it's normal to generally dislike one's own photos. It's just human nature to point out our own flaws. Have you ever heard the phrase "You're your own worse critic"? It has absolute truth to it. A person will judge themselves more harshly than anyone else. It is tough to get past. Just now I felt like I wanted to take down all my photos...but it's all just part of the journey of coming to love yourself. I know I'm still not at the point where I love myself but I'm trying.I guess the best thing you can do is look at those photos again and instead of picking out the flaws, try to pick out one positive thing about each photo. It might just give you the pick-me-up you need.
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