A
female
age
30-35,
*osax
writes:How can I get over my self-consciousness?I'm 20 years old, have dated a few guys in the past, but things didn't work for various reasons, most being that I just didn't "click" with them.Now, I'm overweight. In person, I have thick thighs and a big bum (which I'm not too conscious about). I wear fitted jeans and leggings, but I'm conscious about my upper half, I do have a stomach, big arms and I have asymmetrical breasts (I know that no two breasts are the same on any woman, but mine are extremely obvious as one of mine is a whole two cup sizes bigger).I am interested in a guy, and I'm seeing him, have been dating him for 3 months, we are exclusively dating, we both like each other and want it to progress into something more but I'm just getting stressed, I'm a virgin, I have never taken my clothes off in front of any guy, if we are sexual (eg. fingering) I will keep my top and jeans on and open the zip/button. He has felt my breasts from under my top but he has not seen them.I am pretty much ready to be sexual (not sex just yet) but I'm soooo nervous and embarassed of my body. I would just feel so exposed.I am rather big, I wear a UK Size 16-18, Im 5'8 and I'm 16 stones/100kg.I have started going to the gym as I want to lose weight for myself, but I'm just scared of showing him my body, I know he's seen hotter girls, girls that are slim and perfect, I don't want to push him away but I'm also trying to figure out if I'm emotionally ready? I don't even know if I am, and there's times where I'll feel really upset about it because I do want to show him but 80% of me is just afraid, embarrassed, shy and nervous.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (30 March 2013):
 The truth is, body insecurity is actually less attractive than the body itself. Your confidence in who you are, and even more important, your ability to take your mind off of yourself will set you apart from your peers in life.
Not to sound crass, but your man won't be thinking about whether or not you're asymmetrical when he has his face buried between your breasts. But he IS thinking about how frustrating it is that you can't get past your own insecurities.
However, if you still feel you need training wheels, I suggests getting some candles, and making the great unveil in the dark by candlelight. Everyone looks hot and sexy by candlelight.
Good for you to go to the gym! That will release endorphins into your mind and help your overall well-being. Adding a leaner diet will clear your brain as well! I am convinced that the more processed food people eat, the more their brains clog. I know it's a myth, but I feel better eating fresh vegetables and lean meats versus something from a box or worse, greaseball crap from some fast food place.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (30 March 2013):
The bottom line is that you're not perfect. Nobody really is, but you have some more obvious issues than some people.
You've already accepted that, but you need to accept that, for the time being, there is nothing you can do about it. You owe it to both him and you to embrace that reality and go into this thinking "If he doesn't like me, ALL of me, then he's not right for me.
If he sees you naked and accepts you, that's great, and it means that you two are physically compatible.
If he doesn't, that's his loss, and it simply means that you two are not physically compatible. You already know your flaws so him rejecting you wouldn't be a rude awakening. It's worth repeating that it only means you're not compatible.
THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE CAPABLE OF LOVING ANYBODY AND THERE ARE PICKY PEOPLE. ONLY WORRY ABOUT PEOPLE WHO ARE RIGHT FOR YOU, NOT THOSE WHO DONT THINK YOU'RE THEIR TYPE.
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