A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please can someone tell me how long it takes to get over/fall out of love with someone? Does the pain ever heal?I met my partner when i was 14 (he was 20). By the time i was 15 we were living in a flat together and we were engaged. Slowly over the years he became controling,not wanting me to work or go out with friends constantly saying he thought id run off with someone given the chance (i have never cheated on him). He had a violent temper and lied to me constantly about everything.We had a baby and he became distant and i found porn in on his computer and a girls phone number in his wallet. I confronted him but he shrugged it off saying it was nothing but he constantly looked at 'teen' porn but never had sex with me,he put passwords on the computer and his phone. One day he forgot to log off the computer and (i know i shouldnt of) i looked at his messages,he had been chatting to young girls on myspace and facebook and had even arranged to meet one of them in a hotel,and had been asking her for naked pictures. Once again i confronted him and he turned violent again,i left to go into a refuge as i couldnt handle it anymore.He was arrested and charged with abh (for the second time).Since i left i have recieved my phone bill and discovered he had phoned 'call girls' whilst we were together aswell. I am really struggling to deal with things.Im loosing control.After everything he has done i just cant forgive him but at the same time i miss him so much and just want him to hold me. I am 28 now and been away from him for 5weeks,my little boy is 6.I really want to hate him but i cant.He is now threatening to take my boy off me as i aint coping. I have no close frinds and my family live 150miles away,im totally alone and confused.He was my first and only love and ive been with him half my life,will the pain eever heal?
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female
reader, ashley shaw  +, writes (1 September 2008):
hey girl.. im so sorry to hear about this, from what i see you are a very smart,sweet and a great girl. i have had some friends who have had similar problems, but please dont ever think it is your fault. i know that you have had lots of stress and problems.. but u deserve better girl! :) and u need to leave that loser and find someone who will treat u the way u deserve to be treated, and u can! i know its gonna be hard cuz u have been with him for so long but time heals everything and in the longrun u will be so much happier. i promise:) i wish u the best of luck & if u need anything just hit me up il be here for u.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2008): Hes a jerk and i know sometimes its hard for you to see when you still love him, but hes screwed up way to many times. He cant take your boy away from you,(its against the law) unless you go to court an all that stuff. its gonna hurt but you need to realize and remember that you are worth so much more than that and he is a sick sick sick man. It will be ok, and you will move on. keeping you in my prayers.
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