A
female
age
30-35,
*lowerfariy
writes:HiyaIm not really sure what answers Im looking for but Ill try and make some sense! Im nearly 21 and Ive never had a boyfriend, kissed a boy etc. I'm also overweight but am in the progress of losing weight :) I feel constantly like I'm not good enough for anyone to love me and push people away before they get too close. Even my best friend doesn't know the real me, I feel really down about life in general and often think that there must really be something wrong with me.. Guys dont seem to pay attention to me and whilst my friend ( whos the same size as me etc) is constantly being chatted up whilst I stand there like a numpty! When i try and talk about it, I can't, its like it gets stuck in my throat and I dont know how to overcome this barrier and I dont know how to talk to anyone about it. There's a guy who goes to my sister's college who Ive met a few times and I think he's really nice and I like him.The thing is how can you like someone when you dont really know him and when you can't speak to him? What could I do to see if anything could happen? I have him on facebook, and I think my sisters Bf might have said something to him cos she told her bf and they were talking about me apparently! Has anyone been in a situation like mine, how can i get myself out of this rut and move forward with my life, to enjoy life instead of being on the fray of my friends.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (31 March 2013):
 You lack of confidence in yourself is a major problem.
You can try to address this with a great article by Code Warrior:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-confidence-and-how-do-i-get.html
a step by step process to self Confidence
This is a Top Article and I rate it at 10 stars = it is even better than 5 stars
Author: Code Warrior
But ultimately I stand by my advice that losing weight will help you the most.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (31 March 2013):
Hi Flowerfairy
There are many instances where plus size girls do find love. And I think that is wonderful.
But you are narrowing the pool of guys available to you while you remain plus size.
Maybe you are hopeful that you will find the perfect guy while you are still plus size? On the basis that he will be loving the "real you?"
I suggest that if you can concentrate ALL your focus and efforts on losing that weight this year then finding a guy or guys to date will no longer be your problem.
Because you will grow in confidence with every pound of weight that you lose. And guys will flock to you.
Then your most difficult problem will be choosing the right guy for you.
By Christmas day this year you could be the weight you want to be. After that you will not stay un-attached for long.
Join a gym or get out walking and swimming regularly. At least half an hour to an hour every day as a minimum. Do some weights at hom by filling drink bottles with water for some and sand for others and practise lifting these weights every day in a weight session (additional to the other exercise above)
And join something like Weight Watchers so that you are weighed every week. No matter how embarassing it seems at first the chance to share stories and stay on course will help you.
And start a Food Diary which you write up every day. Leave out no food. If you cheat you are ONLY cheating yourself.
Use one page for the food each day and the page opposite for the exercise duration and type daily.
If you stick to this you will start to see a change and you will feel so much better.
By 2014 you will find dating so much easier and stress free if you have your weight under control.
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