A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm male and in relation with another guy for past 2 years.By looks, am average looking, but decent looking. cannot say am ugly. I never felt inferior about my looks, because i have lot more valuable qualities. Good job and good finance status keeps me away from inferiority complex most of times. My boyfriend thinks he is very handsome and well built. He is definitely good looking and have a good trimmed body, for sure. Some people say he is not as dashing as he thinks of himself.the trouble started after our relationship, that he always claimed to be very handsome, but not intending to degrade me.I developed a thought since past few months that he can get many number of good looking guys for sex very easily, whereas i cannot get such good looking guys for sex.This thought keeps me low, when i spend time with him. I get dull and inactive, whereas he talks lot and projects himself to be very active.I dunno how to come out of this trouble and gain confidence in life.I am 31 years old and he is 42 years old now. Though he is old, he has good body due to regular workout and good diet. I want to get out of this low/dull mindset and became active soon.. How???
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male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (2 April 2010):
Well... I hate to say this... but YOU have got to start thinking that YOU are attractive first, before everyone else will. Inner confidence really does 'attract' people. Cause you'll start paying attention to how you dress, smell, hold yourself, etc. Others will notice.
Doesn't sound like you'll have a problem with this, but Over confidence is a negative thing too. Even if you are REALLY good looking. Acting like you 'know' you are good looking puts people off.
Self esteem... is something that you just have to work on. It always helps too, to surround yourself with positive friends as well. Those who'll tell you how nice you look, what a nice guy you are, etc.
I know it's kind of a catch-22 situation (where one begets the other, and vice versa)... but you have to start somewhere.
Maybe buy some new clothes... wear them out... and get opinions. Perhaps take a friend (not your partner) shopping with you to help you find clothes that are nice looking, etc.
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