A
female
age
36-40,
*amillya
writes:My boyfriend has been getting messages from girls he has been with and never tells me about it. Unless I look at his stuff I don't ever know. And only one of the girls has asked him if he was with anyone which he said yes he was. But the others knew about me and still wanted to see him and then the rest he never even mentioned me. Only when I said something did he tell them that I wouldn't like that they are contacting him and made me sound like a jealous bitch. Yet if a stranger ( man ) tries to talk to me in public he gets all bent out of shape. Any time a man from my past has contacted me I have told him. And the only one that I contact is my child's father and it's a rare thing but he knows every time cuz I include him. Well every time I try to communicate with him how his behavior makes me feel he always tries to defend himself and then point the finger get at me and says that I'm the one doing all the things that's I'm trying to say he is doing. And that it hurts him. Well it's gotten to the point now that I have been choked and he is big guy and I have been pushed and held down hit my head with a closed fist and my lip split when he was trying to make me be quite. Well I'm a long way from home and since I been with this guy I have lost my job I'm broke I live in a place I have no way to shower unless I go to a gym. My family is in Florida and I am in California. I just want out. And have tried shelters and other forms of help and had no luck. I don't know anyone here I have no friends and now I am broke. Please someone tell me how to get my life back. He has me right where he wants me and is just getting away with this. I can't call the cops cuz I defend myself and last time I called the cops he played the victim and I almost went to jail. He has everyone fooled into thinking he is a good guy. He tries to make think he is not to blame that all this is my fault and I am such a beautiful, strong minded independent woman that can't seem to figure out how to get out of this situation and back to my life.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 May 2016):
 Call your family and ask for transportation home. Leave everything you can replace and just go.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 April 2016):
 I agree ASK your family for a small loan - you can get a cheap flight (around $200) from CA to FL.
You can always pay them back when you get back on your feet.
Or if you have ANYTHING of value you can pawn or sell it will be worth it to get as far away from him as possible.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (29 April 2016):
 I agree with asking family and friends back in Florida for financial assistance in getting back home to Florida.
I’ve got a list of local California resources in the link here: http://www.womenslaw.org/gethelp_state_type.php?type_id=1520&letter=all&state_code=CA (you have to copy/paste the whole link as the “?” interrupts the hyperlink).
As they suggest on the site, reach out to the neighboring counties if you’ve had no help in yours.
Call 1-800-799-7233 or visit http://www.thehotline.org/help/ and explain your situation so they can steer you to local resources.
It’s time to create a path to safety plan, which you can read about here: http://www.thehotline.org/help/path-to-safety/ If you are broke and have no friends there ask the local legal folk how to devise such a plan for yourself.
Again do reach out to friends and family back in Florida and explain the situation as you’ve explained here.
I hope you find your way back to safety and get the help you need, for you and your child.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (29 April 2016):
 Can you ask your family for a small amount of money to get a bus/train/plane ticket or even enough petrol etc to get out of there. If organising it is something of a problem for you ask them to do that too. You just collect and go. Don't worry about material things being left behind, just take you and child and some ID and get yourself back home. Perhaps you could even ask your ex to help you if you are that desperate. You are the mother of his child for pete sake. Church organisations may also be an option, at least for a bit of shelter. Going back is not an option once you decide to leave, so make sure you have all your ducks in a row as best you can.
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