A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mind is so messed up.I have been messed around by a few guys in the past that i really cared for and felt we had an amazing connection.In Janaury i got hurt by a guy i honestly thought would never ever hurt me. After that i came to the descion i need to work on myself because everytime i get hurt i hit rock bottom and its because i suffer from extreme low-self esteem and anexity.I recentley went on a college holiday and there was a group of students with us from the other college in our town. In this group was this guy, he is not usually my type but i did find him quite attractive. Also he was so sweet and nice. We got kinda close on the holiday, i didnt kiss him or anything as i wasnt sure what i wanted and didnt want to mess him about....Pretty much how im still feeling 2 weeks after being back, we have been speaking and hes asked me to 'go to the cinema if im free one day'.Im so confused and my anexity makes me worry about getting to close, not getting with him and regretting it, upsetting him, saying yes then feeling a connection with somone else i like.I dont want to mess him around but i dont know what i want just yet, i feel like i want to work on myself and when that person comes along that i cant resist but say yes to, go for it.How do i get out of the offer of this cinema date without sounding nasty, i dont want to say straight no, i wish i didnt have anexity so i could take chances and have fun but i cant :( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): Well I don't think someone like you deserves to not have fun with a guy. Perhaps you should approach him and tell him about your history, like I did to someone once. It might not exactly benefit the relationship but at least the truth is out there in the open and you don't have to worry about 'seeming' nasty or anything. If he cares, he'll wait and understand. If he doesn't, then move on and take care of yourself instead of worrying about the situation.
About the actual movie date, I recommend that you contact him and tell him you're not comfortable. It's better than saying no flat out or making excuses.
If you feel like you can take a chance, then go for it, but at some point you should really express how you feel about things.
Best of luck.
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