A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am just so confused. I've been with my bf for almost 3 years and we have a one year old,but I don't know if we were meant to be together. I find myself irritated at many little things he does now. For example how long it takes him to get ready to go some where or the way he eats. I never use to be this way with him. He is really great with our son, he cares for me so much and is always quick to apologize for what he's done wrong. But for some reason I'm irritated by him and find myself thinking about other guys. Is my relationship at it's end If I am unhappy and find myself irritated all the time? I feel like he deserves to be happy without me yelling at him all the time. I find it hard to leave too because everytome I mention it he cries and begs me to stay because he loves me so much. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): I think this is a common issue (being annoyed with the little things) and you may just be bored (in a sense). Sounds like you've had your hands full for a while now, what you guys may need is just a new "spark". My bf and I are going through that now too, and he just moved out so we could find ourselves again. If that doesnt work then maybe we will have to call it quits. Love is priceless and I think even true love can fade at times, but comes back when each individual reconnects with their "happy place". Then you two can be happy together. Women seem to stress out and get irritated more than men do, so we have to step back sometimes and reevaluate the entire situation, more times that not, you are resenting him for something completely unrelated to the way he eats or the amount of time it takes him to get ready. ( I can comepletely relate to that feeling though...its actually comical how similar most female complaints are). What I am saying though is you may be resenting him for something he has done, or keeps doing and instead of letting him know it bothers you, sometimes its easier to just point it out everytime they do it...to him this will just look like you are nagging, when really you see it as a serious issue. Ive found that its best to bring these things up when things are going good, and you just want to address "little" issues to make things better, that way you both can just laugh about it, but also have it in the back of your minds what makes eachother tick. Im sure there are things you do that annoy the sh$*@ out of him, but guys have a different way of communicating. If you see yourself as miserable no matter what, maybe you should split, just let it marinate for a while and really think if this love is worth giving up for something so small and probably fixable.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): Heyy
i was in a situation just like this, i was with a guy for about three years and i noticed little things he did would irritate me, and i didnt even want to be affectionate.
You really need to sit down and think, are you in love with him? Yeah hes great with your child which is brilliany, a plus, but think about yourself too, do you love him? Pushing these small things away can you see it lasting? Go away for a weekend with the girls or just get away some how, see ow you feel about things, hope everything works out xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2010): It sounds like you want to leave and that you are unhappy. You shouldn't stay in that situation no matter how good he is. Before you do anything like that, though, maybe you should go to a therapist to discover why you are so upset lately. Maybe you are stressed and irritated about other unrelated things and are taking it out on him.
As for thinking about other guys, I think it's normal to an extent. I find other men attractive, but I still remind myself why I was first attracted to my boyfriend or what traits make him him. I think it's human to find other people attractive, but it's not acceptable to act on it especially if you're in a relationship. You shouldn't focus on all the negative things about him, try being more positive.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 April 2010):
 When you have love, you do not see his sins or faults. You need to fall in love with him again.
Focus on his good qualities and not on his negative ones. Try not to have a very high expectations from him.
Love him for who and what he is. Learn to appreciate what he does for you .
Check yourself , why are you treating him this way?
Marriage is not a bed of roses and you need to work at it. You should both build and strengthened your marriage and not one tear while the other builds.
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