A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Back in October of 2010 I started dating an incredible woman. She bought me tickets for Nickelback and we had a great time. The relationship blossomed into the best thing I ever had. Unfortunately though I was her first relationship after ending a 13 year relationship with her ex husband. But I felt included in her family in every way. I am trying to go to school, I have a mortgage, because of comments that her and her mom made I felt the need to buy a 46" LCD TV, I was saving money for her birthday since she went all out for mine, and I was saving for a trip to Cancun that she wanted me to go on. So I wasn't able to buy her tons of stuff all the time. But on valentines Day I went all out. I bought her a dozen roses, a huge box of chocolates, a polar fleece blanket, teddy bears for her daughters, assorted candy and chocolates for who ever, and a big box of chocolates for her mom. Well She broke up with me 3 days after Valentines Day saying that because of her hatred towards her ex she can't handle a relationship right now. Well now that I am over her I realize she probably cheated on me. 3 weeks before we broke up she started dressing better then usual. She left my place one morning looking better than I ever saw her dressed up, she started hanging out with this rich yet FAT male massage client of hers. She's a massage therapist. I ran into her on St. Patricks Day and bought her and this man a beer and talked with both of them for about 20 minutes. I left smiling telling them both to have a good night. Now here is my problem, I fell so in love with her, her daughters, and her family that I now feel a huge hole in my heart and I don't know what to do with life. I know I was her rebound. Thats a given. I did nothing to provoke her to cheat on me. What can I do to get on with life? How can I improve myself? Can someone give me some insight?
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female
reader, TEM +, writes (24 March 2011):
 You sound like a real nice guy, perhaps too nice. You did nothing to deserve such treatment from this woman. I know you are hurt, but I wish you would be a little more angry.You invested a lot of time, money, and emotion in that relationship. You had certain expectations that were dashed when she broke up with you. Now you are dealing with the loss. It is natural to feel hurt, under the circumstances. Loss must be grieved before you can move on. It will take some time for you to get over this. Everyone is different, so it will take as long as it takes. There are things you can do to help yourself feel better, however. Try to get some exercise every day. Change things that remind you of her - for example you might want to stop listening to Nickelback for a while. Make plans with friends to do things, even if you don't feel like it. Be kind to yourself.In time you will see this woman for what she really is and you will be glad that she is out of your life. She sounds like a materialistic person who does not appreciate the kind of guy you are. In the eyes of the world you are still a young man. You will find another love. She will be someone you deserve.
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