A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My problem involves many things, my relationship with my boyfriend, my relationship with my mother and glandular fever! Right, i am with my boyfriend for four months but yesterday there was a bit of a row between us. We were supposed to see each other, we hadnt for 4 weeks before that. I ran late through no fault of my own and then he decided he had to go somewhere later on so he couldnt come see me. I was really upset yesterday after a row with my mam which i will get on to and was mad that i couldnt see him. If he really wanted to couldnt he have? I told him how upset i was and still he chose to be with his friends instead of me. How can i tell him i am not happy with this? Was i unreasonable to expect him to drop his friends and come see me?Now my Mam. Well yesterday i found out she has been rooting in my room, she found a letter to my ex boyfriend, the pill and two condoms. She was not happy at all and called me every name under the sun. I am 20 by the way and so am perfectly entitled to have sex. So she finally copped yesterday that he gave me glandular fever and said i cant see him again. Thing is, i dont even want to look at her after knowing she looked through my stuff. She has no right to and it makes me so mad. How can i get back to normal with her?Sorry this is so long but it had to be to explain everything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): You hadn't seen your boyfriend for four weeks, he was probably dying to see you as well, and is probably as angry as you that you turned up late. Don't sweat it, you have a right to be angry, but so does he. He's not choosing his friends over you, he's angry and trying to punish you, so now you both loose out 'cause you didn't get to see each other. I'd call it quits and forget about it. Your time together is too precious to get into stupid arguements. It's just because you miss it other so much that the little things get thrown out of all propotion. Forget about it.
Your mum was in the wrong. You are an adult and your room should be sacred. She has no business looking at your things or telling you how to live your life. She has made her mistakes, now it's your time to make yours. Unfortunatley she is your mother and it is her house, so there is little you can do to stop her. I would remind her that I am an adult, and cannot be expected to trust her or come to her for support if I know she's interfering with my stuff and treating me like a baby. Your old enough to tell her to lay off the snopping because it makes her look like a control freak with too much time on her hands. But please remember to be respectfull, cause she is your mother and she loves you very much.
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