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*reenman
writes:My g\f has dumped me. At the beginning of our one year relationship she was all over me, almost clingy and more or less in love with me straight away. Now after a few weeks of arguing she has dumped me and just gone cold, just like that. I can't believe how it's gone from that to this.My question is, is it dangerous to date someone who professes love really early? Do they simply detatch as quick as they attach? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): No finer words of wisdom can be said. The Aunts below are right on the money. Beware---it's very, very dangerous to date someone who says those words too quickly. I know couples that have dated well over a year before those words were uttered. And it was not out of fear...it was maturity, patience and an understanding of what 'real, long lasting' love is. Love is what you feel for the one you want to be with for the rest of your life and that takes a looong time to get to that point. Just guessing here but did your gf have low self-esteem? Did she love herself? If not, your gf was indeed clingy, she needed someone to validate her, to approve of her and to let her know that she was lovable. If this was her, then in my opinion was not a solid base for a good, quality relationship. She fell in 'lust' with you...she did not fall in 'love'. If she loved, she'd be right there by your side. We do not know if it really was in her heart to love you. It might never was to be. But for her to have gone cold like this on you so quickly... one can surmise you did not get the truest type of love from her. Whatever she called it-her feelings of love superficial...plain and simple. And as for you, you might've simply mirrored back what you thought she felt for you. We don't know. But chalk this up as a learning lesson in life and be wiser when you go into any other relationships. Good luck and take care of yourself.
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reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 There is a difference between Romantic Love (instant/infatuation/passionate/temporary) and Real Love (Long Lasting/Realistic). A good book to read to understand the difference so that you never let this happen to you again is
"We" by Robert Johnston. It will explain what happened to you.
-Frank B Kermit
www.frankadviceformen.com
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reader, OhLawdWhat DoIDo +, writes (16 June 2008):
 There is no simple answer to what you have described. I shall try and put it as simply as I can. Everyone is different. I would suspect however, that she was never "in love" with you to begin with - more likely she was "infatuated" by you. It shows all the signs of a developing love and the same hormones are released, but it matures a lot more quickly than it should. Mainly because the experiences that a couple have usually been through when they fall in love have not yet happened, so the "love" is in effect - built upon nothing solid. There is no reason this initial infatuation could not develop into a deeper love however, this does not seem the case in your situation.
I hope this helps somewhat and makes as much sense on paper as it does in my head.
Good luck.
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