A
female
age
51-59,
*indy1
writes:I don't like my partner's friends and it is pulling us apart. 18 months ago we made friends with a couple that live close by. The friendship began with dinner once a month at each others homes. After only meeting a handful of times my partner was asked by our new friends to be their best man at their wedding. This came as a big surprise as we hadn't known them long and as they are in their early 50's assumed family or long-standing friends would fulfil this role. I can now see why, it is because he hasn't got any friends and even his own son won't speak to him. Since being asked to be best man the friendship has changed and my partner is spending more time with them to the detriment of our relationship.I work away from home frequently and as soon as I leave he arranges to meet up or goes round for dinner without me. I have told my partner that I strongly do not want this couple in our lives but he just says he is trapped and can't back out. I want them out of our lives but worry that if I give an ultimatum my partner might choose them! They seem to have some hold over him. They cause nothing but arguments between us and things were happier before they came into our lives. How can I get my partner to drop them without giving an ultimatum?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2014): Sometimes people don't nessesesarily have to " do" something to be disliked. I had this situation with parents of my daughter's friend. It's not that they did something, they were just from a totally different background and with different values than me. The husband drove me nuts with his manner of talking, like he knows everything better than the rest of the world. She was not that bad, but still she liked telling you what would be better to do and how she would deal with the situation. She always sounded so full of herself. We stuck around for awhile, kids were friends. My husband also didnt mind hanging out with them, but then it came to the point that kids wanted to play every weekend and we had to hang out with them every weekend. I told my husband that there is noway I want to see them so often. And several times he went only with our daughter. Soon, they started to get the picture. They started asking my husband why I am not coming, and he had to come up with all kindof excuses. The he got sick of it, and we stopped going there altogether. Your boyfriend say he feels trapped, but that's ridiculous. He is a grown man and he knows ways of stop communicating. All he has to do is to regect their invitations several times. Unless they are total fools that will get the message.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2014): If your feeling neglected because of him spending alot of time with new people perhaps asking him for more one on one time like a date night with just the 2 of you every now and then. Just tell him you feel like you no longer get alone time any more try not to act jealous and don't give ultimatums they never work. It dosent sound like he is doing anything that bad hey at least he is hanging out with another couple and not just solo with a women. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (31 October 2014):
 Yes please tell us what these people did.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2014): Could you specify what it is exactly that you don't like about them?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 October 2014):
 I agree with WhenCowsAttack - what exactly have these people done that is so horrible you don't want to associate with them? And don't want your BF to do so either?
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (31 October 2014):
What, specifically, did they do to make you dislike them so much? So far the only thing you have cited is jealousy, essentially. It seems like you're angry because he is so close with them. Why? Is that what the arguments are about? Because unless there's something you aren't telling us, to me it seems like you are the one who is being unreasonable.
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