A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really like my guy friend and he likes me, but he does not want to date me since he has a kid which Has always complicated his relationships and made them end bad. So how can I get him to take a chance with me? Should I get closer and show him how much I care about him? Do I ever have a chance with him? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): Well, I guess at the end of the day it is his decision. If he is adamant that he does not want a relationship, there is little you can do to change that.
However, it may simply be that because of his bad experiences, he is scared to take a chance. I think the best thing would be for you to continue being a friend to him, let him know you care, but don't put any pressure on him to date. He may start to feel more confident to give things a try with you.
You say that his child has complicated his past relationships. Is there any reason why? Or has it simply been difficult for him to find someone who will accept him AND his child? If you are serious about wanting to date him, would you be happy knowing his child will be a big part of that relationship too? If you are not sure you could accept that, then a relationship may not work. But if you can, then maybe you could try and show him, perhaps by offering to spend time with his child, play games with them, things like that. It might make him feel that things could be different this time.
I think there might be hope here, but he may not respond well to being pressured. So prove to him how you feel by showing him. But if he really is not interested in a relationship, then I think you will have to accept that and just enjoy your friendship for what it is. Good luck!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 February 2010):
I don't think you can really do anything if he's saying that his child has complicated past relationships so much he wont have another. The closer you get to him, the more likely you are to be even more hurt to be honest. It's worth saying for one last time that you like him and want a relationship, but if he says no, you need to back away.
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