A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I married my husband a little over a year ago. We now have a baby together. While I was pregnant, I discovered for the first time that he had been looking at porn online, with repeated views of one particular girl. We had been living together for years at this point, but I had never seen it before.It made me feel fat and ugly, and particularly hurt at that time because he wouldn't have sex with me while I was pregnant, but he wanted to look at these online ______. I let him know how it made me feel, and I blocked all the websites that he had been looking at. I believe that he stopped for awhile. Now I am thin again, and we have sex several times a week, but i discovered he had been looking at that stupid whore again, this time cruising the web from his cell. My body looks better than most of these girls, and I just don't understand what his reasoning is for doing this crap again. He says maybe he has a problem, and maybe he does. He would look at it as soon as I would leave the room. What can I do to get him to stop? He already knows it hurts me and admits he is just being selfish, but continues to do it. Should I take pics of myself for him to look at instead? Please help. Frustrated momma
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): relax. at least he's not actually going out and screwing other women. all guys look at porn sweetie, deal with it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): well since you say your better looking than all these women your lucky your didnt get stretch marks or breasts that sag a little after feeding a baby like many other women....then their husbands dont want to know them because their conditiond to believe a pre baby look is better...but however one day you will age, you wll change...and his tases will still be for 20yr old bimbos....how will you feel being compared when your 40?50? 70?...believe me love, nip in in the bud now...demand he attends cnuseling with you immediately
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): This is a followup to the previous question. You all have some good points. I have no problem with porn, as long as it something we do together. The thing that bothers me is that he is looking and hiding it. He claims that fake boobs disgust him, yet 99% of the girls online have them. I mean come on, I am 5'6" and 118 pounds, I am by no means out of shape, he should be happy just looking at me. I have no interest in looking at naked men by myself, it's just not my thing. He says that would hurt his feelings, but takes no consideration for mine while he's doing it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): Hi,Just take pictures of yourself and put them where he saw that girl, then he will open it and find you there instead!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): There are two parts here, first is that you seem to have a problem with porn in general. Get over it. As for your husband no wanting sex while you were pregnant, that happens. It doesn't have to do anything with how you look, the idea of the baby being in there, well it can turn men off. Since you are now having sex again it was obviously just a temporary thing. He may even be thinking that he was really considerate and nice not forcing himself on you while pregnant.Then there is the claim that you got better boobs. Unlikely. You only got two, roughly the same size and shape, porn has them in all styles and colors, you can NEVER compete. That is part of the problem, we like new things, and porn gives that.Part of porn is that it gives a very simple effort - reward cycle. Search the net, find porn, get reward. It is almost a game whenyou see how some guys search for porn. The reason for fixation on a particular starlet might be nothing more then the thrill of the hunt in finding all the material she has created.More or less, just learn to live with it. Get over your own insecurities, let him know there are limits and that it hurts you BUT accept it as just one of those things.Oh and if you insist he gives up porn, you can NEVER again watch a SINGLE love drama. EVER! Titanic is porn for women and don't even bother denying it.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 You should absolutely under no circumstances take nude pictures of yourself because if such a pix were to fall into the wrong hands and spread through out your community or online, you will have no place to hide your shame.(This is my opinion only.)
You cannot stop him or control him from looking at porn. He can do discreetly from anywhere where there is a computer.
He is an adult and above 18.
Men can get tired of looking at the same thing for a long time even though it maybe very beautiful.
They need to look at fresh faces once a while.
Learn to live with it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2008): Hi Hunny
I understand the not having sex when pregnant thing and looking at other women, That orrible it does make you feel like shit love, Get some really horny photos taken of you profesionally if you can afford it!!!! And pop them all over the place like in his cupbourds and only were he would find them you no!!!!!
And now stop going on about it hun there is method in my madness the more you ask why the more he will wonder why and want to look even more... Ignore it its a picture in his wildest dreams he has no chance none narda nil!!!!!!!!!!
Just completely change your veiw and go around as if your not at all bothered in fact go out n buy your self a mag of real hunky men and sit quietly and read that when your thinking how this upsets you so much, The more notice you take the more he will hide it and do it and the less trust will appear in your marraige..Im sending you a link on self esteem your beautiful and YEA! You do have a better bod love, This is just to fall back on if your feeling bad and need a lift.....
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
Have a read of that and it will get your confidence shooting through the roof that miss piccy will look like miss piggy, DONT WORRY!!! Really its not you it has nothing to do with you the most beautiful models out there who have husbands b/fs have the same going on in there lives and other men are looking at them its really not you sweetheart belive in yourself hunny your much more special than a picture TAKE CARE WITH TONS OF LOVE N LOTS OF HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, peaches83  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 Hiya hunny
There is nothing wrong with a man looking at porn however for him to be checking out the same girl is a little worrying.
It doesnt generally mean that he wants to have sexual relations with this girl, he may just like the ways she looks and acts.
Maybe watch this and see if there is anything that you could maybe copy or better still actually sit and have a conversation about why he seems so drawn to this girl.
Yu may found that it could be a sordid fantasy or maybe just that attracts him because he will never get it.
As you have said you are better looking than this girl so no need to worry in that department.
Another thing you could do although may be harsh is find one with a male in and do exactly what he is doing an see the reaction that he gives.
I hope this helps and all the best.
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