A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a guy friend who I have a crush on. We have stopped communication after we had problems going on with the whole crush deal. He didn't like me back, he had a girl with a boyfriend who he liked, so we had a on-and-off friendship this year after being friends for the entire year last year. I had told him about my crush this year, being too afraid to tell him last year. He told me that he thought things might've been different if I had told him earlier last year. We started hanging out again and walking home together once again (As we had before) and I had trouble finding him sometimes. (we have a rather large school and next to no classes together) What I would do is ask his and my friends where he was so we could walk. I think I may have pushed too far with the asking because that may be the cause for them saying that I was stalking him, when all I was doing was trying to walk with and hang out with my old friend. (When I walked with another guy friend whom I knew for longer I also asked around so I assumed I could do this for him too. I asked a LOT of people if they had seen him and I assumed this was okay. I just wanted someone to walk with. I didn't even have feelings for this guy, but I asked a lot of people everyday for him, the same way. I saw no problem with it) Afterwards, when I did the same with my crush, everyone said I was stalking him: which I wasn't. They told him and he believed it. I think he thought I was giving him too much attention and felt trapped. However, we have stopped talking for a long time which has given a lot of room. He is no longer trying to get the girl with a boyfriend. He also often looks at me when we're in the only class we have together. I feel like he doesn't know what to believe about me because of this. (Sort of like it's a "she was a good friend but this is believable because my friends said it"-thing) He often listens to what the majority tells him (which is usually the bad decision) instead of a more reasonable solution. Sort of a peer-pressure solution. If you had a friend whom you desperately want to get back, what would you do? I have a 16th birthday coming up and I want to be able to invite him, but that obviously won't happen if we aren't in contact with each other. I miss him so much and this love for him isn't going away. I just want to at least be able to talk to him again.Please, any response or opinion would be appreciated. This has been on my mind for a long time and I really want to do something about it.I will provide answers and updates to your responses.
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male
reader, Masterofpuppets +, writes (20 February 2012):
 well, in my opinion you kind of hit the nail on the head when you made the comment about peer pressure. I know when I was A young man I kind of followed the crowd and generally crushed on girls that my friends approved of. It's hard for me to say that this is the case with your friend obviously because I don't know him but your friendship holds the key to communication and I would say that you already have half the battle won because you have had A relationship/friendship in the past. If I were you I would take it slow and at least try to gain that close friendship back before you hit him with your true feelings. Remember this though, honesty is always the best policy if you make your move and he just isn't interested in being involved with you in that fashion then you wont be able to change his mind and maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Hope this helped!
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