A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have a great relationship and are very happy. We live together and share everything together. We are both quite attractive but lately my girlfriend has started gaining weight. It's hardly anything and I don't even care. Thats not why I'm with her. She always says "I'm so fat" or "Don't look at me, I'm disgusting" and stupid things like that. She has gained maybe 10-15 pounds at the most and we still have sex regullarly. I try to explain to her that she is still a very attractive person and that it's in her head but she keeps going on about it. What can I do help her feel better? I tell her all kinds of beautiful things but nothing seems to work. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): gaining 15 pounds is nothing.. i mean i haven had this experience since i am 21 and weigh 105 pounds but if i felt "fat" i would want to her from my boyfriend that he dosent care what shape and size i am as long as her loves me for who i am inside. and that he loves my personality...try that if it doesnt work u can try to do more activites like walk the dog take a walk outside join a gym ride bikes get active outside play football. me and my boyfriend love to do sports its a way to get fit and take her mind of the "weight"
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (9 April 2009):
 Honestly, it's something she has to come to terms with. Is there any reason you can guess for the weight gain? Has she just started a new medication, or been bogged down with work?There are a couple of things that make me feel better about myself when I put on a few pounds. First, I feel so guilty and gluttonous after eating a heavy, carb laden meal. I would suggest you try to do some of the cooking and pick healthy things like veggies and grilled meats. She will feel better about what she is eating, and taking over the dinner task will help her out with her stress levels.Second, I always end up feeling better after doing a moderate physical activity. If you buy her a gym membership she will hate you. But if you suggest a walk in the park, or window shopping for an afternoon, or even a walk around the block after dinner because the weather is nice, she will feel less guilty about not getting out more and being more active.Hope this helps. It always helps me. Just tell her she looks beautiful, but make it more about when her hair is styled, or she is dressed up for something. If you make it an obvious reference about her weight she might end up thinking you are "just saying" it because you "have to".Good luck!
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (9 April 2009):
 this is a way that women go fishing for compliments. just tell you dont notice anything,pretty much what you have been doing. try and change the subject nicely and smoothly, if it is braught up
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (9 April 2009):
 Don't say things like "still" attractive and thigs like that. Everytime she says don't look at her or that she is fat then she is looking for you to say no, your not fat at all. You are beautiful. Things like that. Her self esteem might be a little low, but as long as you respond the right way things will be fine.
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