A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's been a fantasy of mine for a while to be done anally by my girlfriend with a strap-on. She has stuck things in me before but with hesitation, I can't imagine it being very fun for her just sitting behind me while I'm moaning in pleasure and her doing all the work, so I want to get her involved. I suggested it once and she shot me down saying that it was weird I got embarrassed and haven't brought it up since. How can I bring it up again and/or get her interested in it without looking too weird to her? She doesn't hate sticking stuff in me but doesn't find it very exciting. I was thinking of buying one and just saying I was looking at it in the sex shop but couldn't see it well so I slipped it out of the package a little and the store made me buy it cuz I touched it. Is there maybe a sex toy catalog I could get somewhere? I have one we looked through once but no harnesses in it. Anyone have any ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): Hi Babes, you are in no way sick or weird. This is a common fantasy of some heterosexual males, and many men and women on this board practise these type of sex games together.. All very normal...
However it's always about consent. It may seem pretty strange to her if she's never had such desires, or has never heard about such things before. But please don't let her hangups make you feel bad. Many women get afraid that their partner is a secret homosexual when they ask such requests, and there is the fact that it might be a complete turn off for her to take the more aggressive role.
You asked, she said no. So that should be that I'm afraid. But I suggest you have a big long conversation about your sex life. She should know what turns you on and she should know her secret desires. There should be no shame, guilt or secrecy in the bedroom.. But too many people are bothered about what "Mr and Mrs Jones" might say, to really let themselves go. Tell her this is your fantasy, it's what makes you excited and turns you on. Tell her that you won't ask again, but it's something you like that she refuses to do. Try and find out what she find sexy and slightly embarrassing, and maybe you can do a trade. One sexy strap on session in exchange for you giving her the wildest fantasy that she could ever imagine. Something you can both do for each other. A case of you share my fantasy babes, and I promise I'll try hard to make your dreams come true. Communication and compromise always works best in relationships. But no means no, so if she won't agree you have to leave it alone and be satisfied with what you have already.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): wow---please don't listen to the replies you've received thus far. these people are clearly either sexually repressed or narrow-minded or both. i'm a woman in a wonderful relationship with a heterosexual man. we have a very fulfilling sex life which, on occasion, includes mutual anal play. and, i can assure you, being a male who enjoys anal stimulation does not a homosexual make--despite the previous medieval opinions so rudely and ignorantly expressed.
a vast majority of men do find prostrate stimulation extremely pleasurable. so, i would say, do a google search for the sex toy you would like to try and just be frank about it with your girlfriend.
obviously, if she is actually uncomfortable with it, don't push her into it. that wouldn't be any fun for anyone. but, do think of ways that would make the act more physically pleasing to her--they make strap-on harnesses with little pockets in which a small vibrator can be inserted, for example. basically, anything you want to purchase or know is available on-line. the down-side to that, of course, is that any nimrod with more arrogance than awareness can post an inflammatory response. i'm certainly no "sexpert," i do know, however, that finding physical pleasure in anal/prostrate stimulation is quite common in men and is not an indicator of sexual orientation. and, incidentally, in this type of fantasy, the woman is sexually aggressive and dominant--and, perhaps, this is a big part of what you most dig about the fantasy. in that case, you could suggest some ways she could be more sexually aggressive/dominant that she could find equally appealing!
good luck and happy humping!
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A
male
reader, lookingforloveandfoundittwice  +, writes (3 December 2008):
Cant you just have sex normally? then she wont be left out.
Maybe tell her to put a couple of fingers in while shes down on you. If you really wanna get rammed in the ass i think you may want to re-address your sexuallity.
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