A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 3 years has lost interest in sex over the past few months. We used to have sex all the time, seeing each other 2 or 3 times a week, and having sex each time, sometimes 2 or 3 times. But, I don’t get to see him that often now, as he is in Indiana for his job and gets to come home every other week (he got a week for Thanksgiving, and he‘ll get about two weeks for Christmas). You would think being that far away would make for great passionate sex and raise his desire, but it doesn’t. The sex is good when we have it, but I have to initiate it, and more than half the time he says he's tried and just wants to hold me. That’s romantic and all, and I like it, I'm just so damn horny! I will call him and say that we need some serious "alone time" and he will know what I mean, and agree, but when he gets back here, almost NOTHING! He still just wants to cuddle! Not to mention I feel he thinks I’m gross or something, as I have gained about 15 lbs since the beginning of our relationship. When we have sex, he’s not that eager to switch positions. Its either girl on top or missionary. I try to nudge him into different ones, he doesn’t budge. He just seems like he’s waiting for me to orgasm so it can be over. He has schizotypal personality disorder, which is well managed, and he doesn’t even need to take medication for it, so I don’t think that would effect his libido. I have to almost beg and start jacking him off to get anything resembling interest from him. Even then, he may just want to make out and stop. I get almost no foreplay as well. Maybe a couple deep kisses, then its up to me to get him up. Wtf am I doing wrong? He's not gay, he's not cheating. Its frustrating. I’ve tried talking to him about it, what I can do to make him want it and start it, what fantasies he might like, costumes etc. He says he likes it when I look nice, like high heels and stockings, but he doesn’t mean that makes him horny. He said he doesn’t really think about sex and really has no fantasies. He likes holding me. Blah. Please help. I’m sorry this got long, but details are important in a situation like this.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2008): I am a 30 year old male. sIn my opinion sex does die off in a relationship after 2 years, and you need to try and spice things up to keep the fire burning, if you are trying and he is not responding then you have to question is what you need from a relationship still there, I myself have been in a long relationship where the sex died off after 2 years and it has only got worse and I have tried to add thing but to no avail, looking back maybe it would have been better to end it back then and find someone who is perfect for me life would be a lot happier now, thats the question you have to ask youself, As the saying goes if you love something set it free if it returns then its truly yours.
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