A
female
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*ELLULAH
writes:Hi all, would like an opinion on this please.I had a firework party the other night. Inviting all the people that I care about and all my friends. The trouble is that two of them used to date, and although they are really cool about the situation, the new girlfriend is not (although she told me she was). The problem is that she got drunk, and started to call my friend all sorts of nasty names, that my mate sitting in the lounge could hear. I sat in the kitchen with the drunk girl trying to calm her down. Although I wanted to throw her out, I didnt want to upset my male friend, and get nasty towards his girlfriend. By the way, he did nothing wrong.I really didn't know what to do, you cannot reason with a drunk. Her boyfriend got really annoyed with her in the end and told her it was over, then he went home.She stayed with us for quite a while (seemed like forever) and then got a Taxi home.My mate had left the party before my male friend did, so she didnt hear the worst that went on.This lady that was drunk, is really very nice (sober), she is very pretty, and really pleasant company.The other lady is completely different. She is not as good looking, a bit larger but the loveliest person. She is kind, funny, and just a real lady that never swears or looses her temper. I look up to her a lot.But now she wont speak to me. I have emailed her and said I was sorry for the behavior of the drunk girl but what else can I do?.I hate it that she is hurt, but I feel she is blaming me. I feel terrible that she won't reply to me, do you think I did wrong?.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): Hi
You really have been put in the middle of all of this first off your guy mate should have took his g/f out your house as soon as she started to kick off about his ex as she was present instead he got angry and left her for you to deal with (wrong) second this was your mate she was name calling drunk or not and she's only your guy mates g/f who is your priority? plus your mate has to leave your house upset as you were trying to calm this other woman down why? i am not blaming you for amything you had to do something I am only looking at this from another point of view, yes I can see how your mate feels let down an upset she feels you choose this other woman over her feelings can you see where am comming from? yes let her calm down but don't leave it simmering as good friends are hard to come by as for the one that got drunk! she's not your problem.Hope it goes well
A
female
reader, blondie 12  +, writes (10 November 2007):
 she will relize that it wasn't your flut and if she doen't then her lost for ignoring who sounds like a really good friend p.s never invite that drunk girl she sounds like she started this hole mess i agree with XxAngelDust89xX your probley better off ect.well hope it helps xxx blondie12 byebye
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A
female
reader, becca78 +, writes (8 November 2007):
I think that it sounds like your friend is upset with you because you were with the other girl, you may have been supporting her by trying to calm the drunk girl down, but maybe she needed you to talk to her on that evening to reassure her. If she was hurt and upset by what was been said, if you didn't talk to her about it then she may have felt alone.
I don't think you did anything wrong, you tried to resolve a bad situation and you did your best, but you need to let your friend know this. Try to meet up with her, e-mails can be misunderstood and face to face is better. If she won't see you, don't give up, if you have a good friendship it's worth taking more time to get it back.
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female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (8 November 2007):
TELLULAH is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi,
Thanks for all the reply's
I will take your advice and let her cool down a bit. After all I really didnt do anything wrong and I have apologised twice. She is a good lady, and I am sure she will come round eventually.
Thanks again Guys XXX
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A
female
reader, XOXHoplessRomanticXOX  +, writes (8 November 2007):
dont do it in an email cus you never truly new if she got it
i think you shoud confront her face to face and if that dont work maybe shes not who you though she was
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A
female
reader, rockelle  +, writes (8 November 2007):
 I think that you handled the situation well. You can not control the actions of someone else. God only knows what would have happened had you thrown her out, intoxicated. She could have gotten hurt, hurt someone else or worst. You did the right thing. Your friend shouldn't be mad at you she should be mad at the other girl. If you apologized you did your part. I would leave her and give her time to come around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2007): There's nothing worse than a drunk at a party, or being stuck between a rock and a hard place, as you now find yourself.
No, I don't think you did wrong and the only reason I can evisage that your friend is not talking to you is that she thought you ought to have thrown out the offensive lady right at the start. However, you had good reason for not doing so ie. so as not to offend her partner who you are also friends with.
You were in your own house and whatever decision you took, either to let her stay or chuck her out, was entirely yours and nothing to do with anyone else, no matter what they thought of your decision.
There's one way I can see that this might be resolved, although you'll be playing 'piggy in the middle', and that is to explain to the pretty pain in the arse lady that her behaviour was offensive - not only to another of your friends, but to you as well - and if she can't remember then spell it out to her Then ask her if she'd care to make an apology - both to you and to the other lady.
You can then tell the offended party what steps you've taken and wait for results.
All the best
Phil
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A
female
reader, XxAngelDust89xX +, writes (8 November 2007):
 It does not sound like you did anything wrong, you did what you thought was best, and your friend should realize this. Give her time, she may come around on her own. Let her know that you are there for her. If she does not come around, then you are probably better off without her.
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