A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i am a very confused person and i don't know where my life is heading. I feel as though i have reached 50 and am only 24. I have been in a relationship for 5years. The guy i loved over these years has really treated my badly. I really have never felt as though i have been loved. Everything is his way or no way. The worse thing is i really do love him and been there for him thick and thin. A lot of people have interfered in our lives and he holds me responsible for this. I feel so low and hurt by his behaviour. He never wants to listen to me every time i seem to call he is busy and when he has time only then he would call me. I feel he wants only a physical relationship and nothing more. He hurts me more as he always discusses about his ex who is now married and my ex who is also married. I don't know how to make him believe that i have moved on and he still seems to live in the past. He went to far this time he told me to get lost and abused my family, i don't understand what i have done to deserve this. Hes never taken me out he always makes excuses when it comes to birthdays and valentines day he always breaks up with me all he does is walk in and out of my life at his please. I really love him but i am beginning to feel as though my love means nothing to him. I cry to sleep each night i was never like this i was such a strong person. I wish i could get all my confidence back?? I don't know what to do or where to go??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (10 May 2007):
 Hello
It looks like your boyfriend is treating you this way simply because you allow him to! Each time he walks out of your life and then comes back into it, it is because you are allowing him to do so, basically it looks as though he takes you for granted, knowing that no matter how badly he treats you, you will welcome him back with open arms.
You need to stand back and take a good look at your relationship and decide if this is what you want from someone you love.........
You could try setting boundaries, if he doesn't take time to call you, take you out now and again and share you life with you to some degree instead of just your bed, maybe it's time to ban him from the bedroom, then see how much you see of him. If he's using you for just the physical side of the relationship once you start saying no he will either stop bothering you, or he will start to make an effort to keep you, something he won't do if he can live his own life without taking you into consideration and still have a physical relationship with you, he's having it all his own way, as i said before simply because you allow him too.
Once you free yourself from the string he's dangling you from and start to live your life for yourself instead of living waiting around for him to notice you, your confidence will start to return. You need to start thinking about yourself and your needs and wants for a change, stuff him for a while, treat him the way he treats you, and stop sleeping with him, only then will you see his real intentions...........
Good luck.x
A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (10 May 2007):
Hello
It looks like your boyfriend is treating you this way simply because you allow him to! Each time he walks out of your life and then comes back into it, it is because you are allowing him to do so, basically it looks as though he takes you for granted, knowing that no matter how badly he treats you, you will welcome him back with open arms.
You need to stand back and take a good look at your relationship and decide if this is what you want from someone you love.........
You could try setting boundaries, if he doesn't take time to call you, take you out now and again and share you life with you to some degree instead of just your bed, maybe it's time to ban him from the bedroom, then see how much you see of him. If he's using you for just the physical side of the relationship once you start saying no he will either stop bothering you, or he will start to make an effort to keep you, something he won't do if he can live his own life without taking you into consideration and still have a physical relationship with you, he's having it all his own way, as i said before simply because you allow him too.
Once you free yourself from the string he's dangling you from and start to live your life for yourself instead of living waiting around for him to notice you, your confidence will start to return. You need to start thinking about yourself and your needs and wants for a change, stuff him for a while, treat him the way he treats you, and stop sleeping with him, only then will you see his real intentions...........
Good luck.x
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2007): although u love this guy i really think it is time for u to move on.this relationship is going nowhere and damaging u.yes it hurts - but u will come out the other side & if u stay as u are u will sink further.he obv does not love u - u cant make him do so.u need to live for u for a while, get back ur self-confidence and get ur life back.u survived before u knew him and can after.do this for urself.
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