A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:okay, been with my boyfriend for a year. we have had a few lulls in the relationship recently. just as things were looking up, i went over to his house to spend the night but the state of his house (hygiene, smell etc) made me feel ill and i didnt stay the night. i have felt guilty since and how can i reslove this? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): Set fire to it! Only kidding!!!!! Just have a word with him and offer to help him if he is finding it hard to get on top of it.
take care
xx
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (1 December 2007):
 Ok, I consulted my daughter on this subject because she has personally been dealing with this with her boyfriend.
He and my nephew have an apartment together. You can definitely tell who's bathroom and bedroom belong to whom.
My daughter says the first thing you need to do is make sure they are willing to listen. Once you get to that point she says she has gotten into the habit of "directing traffic". In other words she is always telling him "don't put that there, put it where it belongs." She even goes over once in awhile and cleans up the place which kind of gives him a head start.
Many guys have a problem with this because of the way they were raised. To cure the problem they need to learn how to put things away when they are done with them. To put their dirty clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor where they must then pick them up from later causing work for themselves etc. I am sure it will be a bit of work to get him in the habit of cleaning up after himself but it will be well worth the trouble. Realize though that even the most well intentioned guy may not meet your expectations.
Even though I try I still fall short with my wife, and we have been married almost 28 years. I hope this helps. Doc
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2007): tell him to clean it. just flat out say it. seriously.
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