A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm hoping for some advice on how to get my male best friend back. We were best friends for 6 years and since its all been thrown away I feel lost. He was like my twin, we had exactlly the same personality, humor, interests and to be honest I miss him being around. I even miss being able to just text him and ask how he is.Since hes had his new gf he cut contact, this was following a fallout me and him had. Usually if we've argued in the past we let it simmer for a week or so then talk it through and everythings fine. But this time she got involved, messaged me, which I was not impressed about and as a result he blocked and cut contact with me.They have a very clingy relationship, like since day one they spend almost everynight together, he has to take her to work in the mornings and sometimes fetch her, hardly see's his mates anymore, and he doesn't go out without her unless shes gone out with him. I have always had the opinon that shes very influencial and can get what she wants but I'm unsure as I don't really know her. We all thought he'll calm down and come to his senses but 9 months in and no change.I know none of that is relevant but I just thought it might give you abit of info as I really don;t feel that I will ever get my friend back or even be able to see or speak to him whilst shes around. We also had abit of a thing about 2 years ago, but it ended and both me and him are fine and have forgotten it, mistakes happen, why should we throw a great friendship away. And so we carried on as normal, and were both really happy with our lives. I have managed to text him on the odd occasion such as when he was in hosital, a birthday wish and when one of his relations died. All to which he replied, it wasn't a one word/blunt answer but when I tried to make conversation I got no response.So heres me thinking he truely hates me for nothing. However I ran into him about a week ago on a night out, I waved he waved back and I said come over, we had a little chat, it was so nice to see him and we were just talking about my car. His gf came over and just looked at me then walked off, and from what my friends have said she was giving me envious looks afterwards. He got up to leave and asked if I'd be there later and he'd come back and see me. I found this thoughtful but I wasn't holding my breath, and it didnt happen as him n his gf left pretty soon after that, they'd only been there 10 minutes.I went to the bar I walked past her n she just poked me n said "nice to finally meet you" (and from speaking to her I can tell shes the loud and mouthy type) and I was was civil with her and said "you too" and we asked each other how we were, and then I went back to my friends. I found this very two faced after what she;d said to me in the agrument. Straight after she was speaking to her mate and her mate kept staring at me and looking at me n my mates. I got home to find she'd wrote a facebook status about me "Nice to meet you, now f*** off" ... I knew she wasn't impressed I was there. Sadly she deleted that so her bf didn't see it.I really don't know what to do, he wont even reply if I asked how he is, unless I text him twice which I shouldn't have to. I text to say it was nice to see him that night, and got no reply. I just want my best friend back. Forget the past, both me and him have and we;ve been friends for along time even since that happened. I hope you can understand and not judge me for what happened in the past because nothing can be done about that. Will I ever get my friendship back with him? Or does he really hate me?P.S - Alot of my close friends are male so hes nothing speical so please don't get the wrong idea.
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female
reader, Mariab +, writes (7 May 2013):
 I can understand why this is upsetting to you. Having to let go of someone when you are not ready to and having to deal with the gap in your life that he once filled. BUT... in order to have a friendship...this involves more than one person wanting it! Unfortunately, it seems that this gf of his had filled the space you took in his life.
You have to respect his decision and his choice to be with this girl. That's what a real friend would do. I would just give him his space and let him be. This conflict btwn you and the gf will not help your case. So best to stay away and not get involved. Good luck hun xx
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