A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, you may be slightly bored of me now… I posted a while ago and didn't really get a lot of constructive advice... assuming, I like my friend, who is a diagnosed sociopath, and this really, really doesn't bother me, even though it probably should... how do I go about finding out if he likes me, and if he does not, to get him to see me as more than a close friend? He is a little emotionally immature, and every day he messages me saying that he is in love with another girl who has a boyfriend, that he has found someone "perfect", however, I don't think any of this is reciprocated? He is seventeen, I hasten to add...I do try to console him, but obviously I really like him so it's getting to me. He phones me at 2 o'clock in the morning sometimes for no apparent reason, and I try to be there for him you know? Honestly I don't fancy him... just care for him a lot. How do I get him to like me or, at least, view me as a potential girlfriend rather than a doormat? He is very nice to me; I hasten to add... almost consistently... I just mean how to be more than a friend to him, short of forcing myself on him obviously... a possibility which is already eliminated because we do not live close to each other in any case. He is somewhat promiscuous, although, I get the impression he doesn't want me to know about his "exploits". The other night, while on the phone, he accidently disclosed that he had been "making out" with a girl in front of her boyfriend, which didn't really bother me, I hasten to add, but he seemed unwilling to tell me this, although I kind of pushed it so that he did. I know, I know, he sounds like an idiot, but trust me; he's one of the only people I can relate to... which means... I'm an idiot too. Yeah.The other day he messaged me saying he "really wanted a girlfriend" and then continued to accuse me of being gay (because I've fancied women in the past) to which I said, no, you know I'm not gay, etc... he kept pushing it, so I asked why it mattered, and he said... I'm just saying, don't be gay, that's all. I'm not going to overanalyse anything - just wondered if there was some possible cryptic notion in it. He started sending me "romantic" poetry, not that this is supposed to mean anything because he just likes poetry and probably wants to share it, you know?I'm just wondering, I don't want any advice to get over him or stop talking to him, because we've been friends for well over a year and talk every day, and I value him as a friend if nothing else. I'm just wondering more how to get him to see me as girlfriend material, assuming he doesn't already. I really love him... in case you hadn't noticed… and yes I sound pathetic and emotionally unstable.xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010): Yes, I know what being a diagnosed sociopath entails - at least... I have read many informative texts about it. I have always found sociopaths fascinating.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 January 2010):
A diagnosed sociopath? Do you know what that means? Emotionally immature is one thing, but to actually be a diagnosed sociopath is entirely another. Even from what you're just saying about him I can see that he is subtly controlling you. The late night calls, the warnings about being gay and such. Be a friend to this guy, but nothing else. Because if he is a sociopath, then he could flash to serious violence within a matter of seconds. It's not pathetic that you fancy him or anything like that, but it could be very dangerous. If you never listen to anything else in your life, listen to me now. Do not go out with him.
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