A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey everybody I have a major crush on a friend of mine. I cant stop thinking about him and everything seems to remind me of him. I can't get him out of my head. It just really turns me on that we have a lot in common and I just love his personality. He is also really good looking lol. The thing is I do not think he feels the same way about me but i want him to. I dont want to rush him into anything but how can i try to get him interested in me without annoying him or making him feel awkward?
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female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Oh, one more thing - I forgot to say 'you're welcome' for the post, Hon. Sorry, I got a little carried away there. :) xXx
A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (20 March 2008):
Do i think he may want to get to know you better? Ummm...let me think.........derr yeah! Full body massages? OMG! And does this mean anything? You're half way there girl...sorry i'm getting all excited just thinking about it, excited for you that is, lol!!
And there's me thinking I could talk you round to asking him out for a drink, when already you have him in your clutches, literally.
He could well be playing hard to get, have you told him you wouldn't mind him giving you one? Ooops! A massage I mean, hahaha !!(there i go again):$ What's the bet he would, and, maybe he's contemplating asking you to be his girlfriend, but he's not sure how to go about it.
You say he's not said anything about being interested in you, Hello!! He's letting you massage his whole body! (Do I have to keep putting up exclamation marks?)
Ask him if he's got a girlfriend, if he says no, then say...
"Do you want one? Coz i'm free". Ah go on - I dare ya.
You had better let me know when it does happen. I'm gonna wait for the next episode :) xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thank you for the Post Big Sis. I have hung out with him a couple of times and he likes it when I give him whole body massages. Does this mean anything? He hasnt said anything about being interested in me though, we just usually hang out and stuff. I think he may be playing hard to get but I just want him to know that I want him to consider me as a gf cause I want him to know how much I care about him and I will never leave him for somebody else. I have acually turned somebody else down cause I did not want to give up spending time with my friend. This would probably make the other guy think i am cheating if he finds out that I give my friend massages and hang out with him and hug him. And that would cause problems. Do you think he may want to get to know me better?
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (20 March 2008):
Wow, let's have a lookie here.
First of all, Anon 18-21 yr old.
You say you are friends with your crush, try this; When you see him next, and maybe when no one else is about, take a couple of really deep breaths, that will help you clear your worrying thoughts, and should also get that nervous feeling out of the way, get yourself in the 'i'm feeling really confident' mood, and then go over to him - have your usual chit-chat then say something like....
''Fancy joining me somewhere for a coffee or a drink? If you can't make it now, we could go another time?''
You could also add, ''My treat?'' give him a coy look and have a little giggle.
Now he's your friend so he's bound to accept. I don't think you have anything to lose by doing that, do you?
If he accepts your offer, then the usual chit-chat may turn into something a little more personal, and you should be able to tell if he is showing interest in you or not. That's what I would do. Let us know how it goes.
Good Luck xXx
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Anon in your mid 40's.
You sound like you are completely besotted with this guy. I think you are going to have to try and refrain from any contact with him, and see if he'll contact you.
It will be hard, I know, but give it a go. You never know, he might miss your chats, and try to contact you, wondering why you haven't acknowledged him. If he persists in trying to make contact with you, then maybe, just maybe he has got feelings for you, then reply, and take it from there, by then you may even have the guts to tell him how you feel.
You said he's just met someone, so what? It may not last, remember, you said he just recently went through a divorce. I doubt very much he'll jump straight into a serious relationship so soon. I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but try to be strong.
The other thing is, you must 'not' put your life on hold for 'this guy'. Get out there and meet people, try to take your mind off him and give yourself a break from this. Life's too short, to be sitting around at home waiting for him.
Best of luck hon, and let us know how you get on, too.
Big Sis xXx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): I see it's been a while since the last message here. Are there no Aunts or Uncles out there who could advise us? We are two women with almost the same problem and desperate for answers, only there is a big difference in our ages. Message to thread starter: At least you can see yours in person. You have a head start. If i were you i'd approach your crush. I've not met 'my guy'. The thing is i feel even more gutted, because now he tells me he's met someone, i am that upset, that i've been sobbing most of the day, i thought at first we had something going, but i must have let my imagination run away with me and read into his friendship too much. All this time i have been receiving all the wrong signals.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey its nice to know that someone else feels the same way I do. My guy is like an actual copy of me.....along with having every hobby in common we also have similar future career interests. We both want to go to medical school and we are both shooting for the same medical school that we are hoping to get accepted at. (It just happened that way). Wow just thinking about him makes me smile and stuff. And I know what it feels like when your heart skips a beat. Mines so bad that it happens when I see him signed in online as well as when I see his picture on facebook, when i see him on campus or even see a black pontiac firebird. lol (Thats the kind of car he drives) I never went crazy over a guy like this before and I just want to love him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): Hello you, i know exactly how and what you are feeling.
I can't offer you advice because I'm in the same position as you. So if there is anyone out there who has any advice for you, i'd appreciate you sharing it with me.
I've never met 'my guy', but i have spoken to him on the phone, and we chat on messenger for hours, i've even seen him on webcam, and it's just so uncanny how we have so much in common. He doesn't live that far from me either.
This has been going on for over a year now. I know i have fallen deeply in love with him, even though i've never met him in person. I've even put off other relationships, in the hope that maybe one day i would meet up with him (Sort of like putting myself on hold). Like your guy, mine is great looking too, he has a fantastic personality and makes me laugh no end, having me in stitches at times.
When ever i see that he's signed in, my heart misses a beat, and again, like you, everything reminds me of him. I know he likes me,(but unfortunately only as a friend). The thing is, i don't want him to know how i feel in case he backs away and i lose him as a friend, and i've had hints that's he's not interested in a relationship because he has recently divorced. I feel so foolish for feeling this way, and sometimes hate myself for it, and it's depressing me, especially as i am in my mid 40's and should know better. I'm having to put on a very brave face to him and to all my family, because nobody else knows about this. Agony Aunts and Uncles, please help us. (Getting this off my chest, i feel, may have helped a tiny bit) xKTx
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