A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend is giving me the cold shoulder and I've done nothing wrong. It's Valentine's Day and we should be kissing and cuddling together not being apart.I don't know how to get her to speak to me. Last time I saw her, her mum screamed at me to go away, and after that, my girlfriend wrote an email saying that if I go around to her flat, she will involve the police. After bad treatment on that scale, most people would move on, and I've told her that if she doesn't love me, I will, sadly have to move on. But I do forgive her because I love her.I've sent her lovely messages today, with some photos of us together but she's not replying. I try and keep the lines of communication open but she's really not helping matters. I normally text her or email or leave a voicemail just to say I miss her and love her and I want her to tell me what's wrong, but she never replies. The last few have been really cold and unfeeling, and since that time about the police, nothing.Why would she say that anyway? I haven't done anything wrong. I'd never hurt a hair on her head. If the police were involved my career would be over.Well, it's been 6 weeks now since I saw her, and I'm missing her so much. Why won't she reply to me? How can I get her to open her heart like before?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): Also, she said in that last email that when I went round last time and she just left me at the door even though I came back 3 times and it was cold and raining outside. Well she said that I had broken my promise to her mother and that I'd promised her mother I would never go around there again. But I never promised that, and she is wrong. I mean I'm hardly going to promise something like that am I when we're in love. I'm also the most honest man she'll ever meet so she is throwing away an amazing future with me here.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): I don't know how you can all be so against me when you don't even know me or my girlfriend or our relationship. I bet you wouldn't like it if you were ignored and screamed at and then threatened with the police. I've already explained I only say loving and sweet things to her, certainly nothing that would make her over react like that. I am prepared to help her get past these fears she has got, I am prepared to talk through any problem. I am not the monster you seem to think I am. I don't know why everyone is against me. You could not meet a kinder hearted man. I would never cheat or lie, unlike other men. I am willing to support her in any decision she has in her career and just want to be there for her through thick and thin.She also said I was stalking her a few months ago when we broke up before. Which is incredible as we are soulmates and we did end up together again which just proves we are meant to be.I don't know why you are all being so negative about the situation just like her, it's like you've been listening to her. I'm not going to let your negative comments get me down but I would hope that next time you could be a bit more caring.[Mod note: presumably this is the OP but it wasn't done as a verified followup.]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): It has been six weeks of you HARASSING your EX.
She is your EX. Stop contacting her!
She is not interested in getting back together with you. In six weeks your behavior has probably made her really dislike you. Even her mom wants you to leave her alone.
Please leave her alone before a court order requires you to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): I'm afraid this is a bit more than the cold shoulder, this girl has made it clear she wants nothing to do with you and by continually trying to keep in touch with her she is likely to feel like she is being harassed/stalked. Please move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2013): You must have done something terrible to have her be so AFRAID of you that she would call the police. You need to stop stalking her. Talking about kissing and cuddling with her is just creepy if she feels so scared of you!! She doesn't want anything to do with you, ok? Get a grip and learn to be on your own and not be so dependent on needing a relationship just to feel ok. She is NOT your girlfriend.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (15 February 2013):
What girlfriend?
The one that never wants to see you again, who's mom hates you and who threatened to call the cops on you?
Move on, you're stalking your ex, not "trying to get your girlfriend to open her heart".
Let me repeat that: YOU DONT HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YOU HAVE AN EX AND YOU ARE STALKING HER.
I'd recommend some counseling, seriously!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 February 2013):
 Do you not understand that she intends to contact police if you continue to harass her? Because that is what you are doing. You are stalking and harassing her.She has said goodbye to you and as clearly as anyone could hear: "leave me alone."If you are having trouble grasping this, then you need to find psychiatric help ASAP. I am not making fun of you. I am worried that you don't seem to have a basic grasp on the reality of the situation.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 February 2013):
 Have you posted before about her... I recall seeing something similar about a month ago or so????
If you are the same guy, then I get it. You are not grounded in reality about what's going on with you and this woman
You said " I've told her that if she doesn't love me, I will, sadly have to move on."
what part of "an email saying that if I go around to her flat, she will involve the police."
does not tell you that she does not love you and wants you to move on?
let me interpret this for you
she has said not to come near her or she will call the police. that means she does not want to be anywhere near you. It probably means she's afraid of you or you are overly persistent and inappropriate when you go near her.
if you can't be near her you can't be with her.
move on. this is her telling you to let her go and move on
she's not responded to you since the email saying she would call the police if you go near her flat...
she has told you what's wrong... she does not want to be with you.
it's over and done and she's willing to call the police to make it so.
what else could you possibly need for her to do to prove to you that she wants you to move on?
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