A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Well, where to start. I've been with my Fiance since march 2006. When we got together, she was smoking heavily, almost 2 packs a day. I informed her I abhor smoking and would like her to quit in the future, she said if I don't like it I can leave, but that she would try to one day. She slowly declined in her use and is down to about a pack a day, but lately she's been picking up again, she goes through a carton a week at least! I love her to death, but it's given me health problems, and causes severe asthma when I'm close to the smoke. Every time I ask her to quit she complains that I knew she smoked when we met. What should I do???? Thanks for your advice!
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male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Ive been on both sides of the arguement here.
A few years back when i didnt smoke i hated smokers and tried to get my parents to quit, they dismissed me and said i nagged them. Lately i started to smoke (yes im a hypocrite) but people are always telling me to quit and the dangers of it. Once was enough and it really does annoy me, constantly being told by every new person.
The thing to do here is ask her once then dont do it again as she will end up resenting it, you cant make her give up, you can only wait until(if) she wants to give upand when she does you can help her to give up.
i also smoke outside and never around other non smokers as its just wrong! Tell her you have health issues and smoking makes it worse. This is the best solution to the problem as telling her to quit will do little.
A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (16 November 2007):
As a smoker myself I know how annoying it is to be told all the time to give up. I have only ever given up during my pregnancies, and then started again not long after they were born.
You can't make your girlfriend give up smoking. If she really wants to she will, but it has to be because she wants to else she'll just start again anyway.
That said she should have consideration for your health.
I don't smoke in my house, and whenever I go out with non-smokers I always go off somewhere for a cigarrette so that I'm not in peoples faces. If you try to explain that it affects your asthma she may be a bit more considerate about where she smokes, but I wouldn't count on her giving it up.
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