A
female
age
30-35,
*iss.Knowitall
writes:How do I gain confidence when it comes to sex? (if your only going to look at my age and say I am too young leave don't even answer I want some help, not people criticizing me!) I know what I want to be like and what I want to do. But the second I am actually with my bf I lose it all. I want to be more then you know just the girl that lays there, but I have a 0 confidence level. I've been dating my bf for 13 months know. He means soooo much to to and was the first guy to even kiss me .I don't want to keep making him feel disappointed even though he says he isn't, I know that it is what he really expected it to be like considering the crazy stories his cousins tell him. (they tell him 2 weeks is too long to be with a girl ... so that tells you what they are like) How do i get confidence?
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male
reader, ClearEyes  +, writes (4 March 2011):
You aren't too young. I'm the same age as you, for the record. The baby boomers are a bit old fashioned when it comes to sex.My girlfriend of 7 months approached me with a similar question about 2 months ago. I told her, literally, just realize you're beautiful, no matter what you're wearing, no matter how you think you look (in truth, when you're in bed with a guy, you are to him at that time, the most beautiful thing in the world, so be confident, it's kind of a given that you look hot/desireable).A few weeks later, we were both a little drunk at a party and she went insane, I was shocked how confident she became. The next few sessions she was a bit more confident not as much as that night, but now shes doing almost as much as me. There really isn't a way to get confidence, alcohol brings it out, but that is in no way a solution. It took me about 2 months of sex to be truly confident in myself, and for my girlfriend, I guess about 5 or 6. It comes with time and practice. Practice makes perfect, and it's pretty damn hard to screw up sex if you're a girl, so there's no pressure on you. Just give it time, realize you're beautiful, maybe turn the lights out, climb on top of him and move around. I'm sure he'll be more than happy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2011): First is you have to love yourself. Look into the mirror and say positive stuff about yourself. Second, if it comes to sex I think you have to look at yourself naked and like every part of your body. To gain confidence you must like yourself. N see from there and beside you guys been together for quite sometimes he should love you for who u are. Goodluck!
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