A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a very shy person, especially when it comes to girls. I am very confident and creative when i text them, weather its flirting or not. Unfortunately, as soon as i call them or attempt a conversation in person, i either freeze up or feel like everything i say is stupid. It's kinda depressing. My voice stops carrying after i start feeling stupid in the conversation. I especially need help with approaching and flirting in person. Any advice? What should i do?
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confidence, flirt, gain confidence, shy, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): Well think about this. I met a guy about a month ago who I thought was so gorgeous and cute. So we started talking and I could tell he liked me too. Only thing was the more we talked I could tell he was a bit intimidated. Just by things he said and maybe I could just tell he wasn't sure of himself. But he showed me a bit of his insecurity. Maybe he was nervous. And I could not beleive that a guy this good looking and cute and adorable could be insecure! It wasn't necessarily a turn off but it would have definitely played more to his advantage had he been a bit more confident. Had this guy been able to jump in my mind for just one second, he would have realised that he had NOTHING to feel insecure about.
So what I am trying to say is that girls might see you totally differently than you see yourself. They might think you are awesome but you have to stop thinking the worst and just believe you are awesome too, otherwise they are going to see right through it and might question why you are insecure and it might turn them off.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): We all seem to go through this at a point in our lives. We feel shy because we dont like to feel uncomfortable and to be let down. Getting over shyness can take a little time and practice. You already have some progress. You say you text them pretty fine and you can carry on a conversation. The only problem you have is being upfront with someone. Dont feel stupid when you talk to someone. Simply be yourself. When you accept yourself for who you are, people will take notice in that and they'll admire that fact. Getting over this can take a little patience. Practice by making small talk with people about anything. The more practice you get, the more comfortable you'll feel about being in an uncomfortable situation. Be yourself and dont be too hard on yourself. Whatever you have to say isnt stupid or non-sense. Be yourself and accept who you are. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, x-cazza-x  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 hiya! everyone feels like this at some point or another so don't worry about it! i know everyone says the same thing but it's true! i used to be exactly the same as you when i was younger but what I've got to think about is... if they dont like you for who you r and how you are then screw them!!! theres no advice i can give on flirting except b yourself!thats the biggest turn on for any girl! dont be fake with us or laugh at other people to make yourself look good, just be urself, tell us jokes, listen to what we gotta say and the rest should come naturally! hope this kinda helps!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): I'm the expert at this stuff because i have been there, i'm now a bit older than you and got over my issues younger than you but if you are shy and not confident in general then you gotta toughen up, you might not wanna follow my route as i went from being an innocent little baby to becoming 1 of the baddest and coolest gangters there is (take my word for it!). but dont try be something your not either, don't act cool in ways that are just gonna look ridiculous, find it from inside. If you want the girls you gotta be super confident and happy with who you are and being shy and anything short of bad just ain't gonna cut it for you. Man up little soldier
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