A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone I wanted to ask if anyone has any techniques on how to stop associating certain memories with an ex. My ex and I went to school together and reunited for a short lived relationship. Long story short he was just brutal in ending it with me - he did some things that I wouldn't consider you should do to a person that went above an beyond for you. I was nothing but nice to this manI have realized what he considers to be a relationship is not what I consider it to be. He dumped me cold heartedly and went on with another woman just months after - seeing them together - seeing how he states my love and blasts her on social media hurts- it's pathetic I still hold on to itMy issue is I associate certain places we went to, and think back and there is a part of me that feels sad even months later. I think of certain things like the school we went to or the town we live in and I just get lonely and sad. This is troubling considering this man was one of the worst men I dated. He completely disregarded me after he realized that he had to put effort into a relationshipHow can I stop this thinking? How can I train myself to understand logically that any thought of him is bad? Does anyone have any techniques in facing this?These thoughts consume me some days - I fantasize seeing him again and getting clarity. If it's not that I play scenarios in my head - comparing my relationship with her and seeing why she is better than meAnyone have any ideas how I can train to see the reality- someone that doesn't have the decency to break up to me in my face is still holding a lot of room in my head Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 June 2017):
 There really is no quick fix on getting over someone, I get that it is difficult but time will heal you. When you feel you are thinking about him, distract yourself. Keep yourself busy. Spend time with family and friends and do the things you enjoy in life. Believe me it will get easier. If it is possible why don't you go away on holiday and have a break away. It might do a lot off good. Also block all contact details and social media so you cannot keep checking up on him, that is not healthy.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (7 June 2017):
 Time is the healer. Eventually you will come through. You will find a better person to love you and you will be grateful your ex' left you because he did you a favour.
Until then keep busy. Look after yourself. Treat yourself. Cherish friends and family. You misjudged this man but don't punish yourself because of it.
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