A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Obsessed with my ex.Not a day goes by where I don't think about her and everything we did together while in our relationship, which eventually fell apart because of distance, which would have been too much for us to cope with when she went to university. For the past 10 months of my life, I have not been able to let go of my feelings for her. She's moving on with her life, and I feel hurt and trapped. She was my best friend for 2 years, and I lost her. She let me go.How can I forget her and see better things for the future?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (12 April 2008):
All you can do is get over her if she is moving on. You need time, time heals all wounds. Yes, it has been 10 months, but sometimes it can take years. It's very hard... I know. But I do have a question, when is the last time you have talked to her? With my last boyfriend, we dated and he was my first love. Close to a year after we broke up I was still very much in love, thought about him and the past and memories every single day. As your ex did, he moved on. Because it was too painful I did not talk to him for the year after we broke up. Just the other day he called me. After talking to him I realized I am not in love at all, I'm in love with the past and my memories of him. The truth is, people change. It sounds like you are holding onto your love from 10 months ago. If you have been talking to her this whole time all I can say is to stop. I understand she is your friend but it hurts a lot worse. Especially hearing about her new bf and how she has moved on. The fact that she moved on is your closure. Now all you need is time. Surround yourself with friends and hobbies, anything to keep your mind off of her. And even though it sounds cliche, what is meant to be will be and everything happens for a reason. I promise you eventually you will be over it. You may always have love for her, but not in love with her. It's hard so I wish you the best of luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): Make a resolution that every time you find yourself thinking of her you find something interesting or fun to do. Decide that you won't talk about her to your friends. Fill your life with other things and bit by bit you will get over her.
Rome was not built in a day, but a bit of it was.
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