A
male
age
30-35,
*ox One
writes:hello everyone, i need help or advice about my situation.well it's been 2 years now since i met this lady, she lives long way away from where i live, last year i told her about my feeling to her in the phone, and she didn't say anything at all. well, time passed away i tried to forget about her and stop talking to her, when i almost forget about her just one step more to forget, she just always turns up, email me or send messege in facebook or anything that makes me remind her again. and always like that. i tried to date with another girl but it didn't work for me, i mean i can't forget about her. it's hard for me to love. i just keep myself busy recently, but god, she always in my head. i don't know what should i do now? any advices would be helpful. thanks
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male
reader, Fox One +, writes (3 July 2013):
Fox One is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell, thanks everyone. I'll try to do my best. whatever happen i won't regret it. if she's there for me, i'll be so grateful, but if she's not for me. well, i'll be grateful still. maybe there's someone for me in this earth who will understand and feel the same way like i do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2013): Well, if its driving you crazy, you gotta do what you have to do.
eat your pride and start initiating to talk to and win her again.
I'm not a fan of martyrs. in fact I hate it.
but there are times that sometimes, you have to admit to yourself that there are some people who really worth to be martyr for.
If you think its her, you can't change that.
No matter who your with, she will still occupy your mid and heart. So, what are you waiting for? wasting time asking us here? when you could start sending her flowers instead.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (22 June 2013):
I was into a guy so hard that last year this time when we separated I was paralized. I couldn't focus on anything. Last year was a blurrrrr. Seriously I couldn't think, eat, sleep....I was numb. I'm twice your age. I don't care what sex/age you are when you care/love deeply, it takes time. To this day I still think of him. Miss him deeply. BUT, I'm better off without him. He is better off without me. I'm glad that we don't contact each other. I'm weak for him. He is my addiction. I honestly don't believe I will truly get over him. I will always love him. He did things for my heart, mind, body and soul that no one ever has done. I still struggle today of the "could of" "should of" or the "would of". You have strong feelings for her but does she feel the same? Does she make you a better person? Does she add to your life? Sometimes things are better left behind. You maybe willing to give yourself completely to her....but it doesn't sound like she is ready to do for you. Love is a gift. Choose it wisely. Give it wisely. I hope you are doing ok....Good Luck my friend. I know where you are coming from. DOn't look back, it's not there. Move forward.
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A
male
reader, Fox One +, writes (22 June 2013):
Fox One is verified as being by the original poster of the question@highmaintainance101, yes it is.... i care about this girl because she stayed at my house about a month. it was 2 years ago but i can't forget about her 'till now. in fact it grows stronger everyday "the feeling".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2013): You inspired me writing about how to forget someone you love the jerky way. Lol.
sometimes, you can learn a lot from jerks.
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A
male
reader, Fox One +, writes (19 June 2013):
Fox One is verified as being by the original poster of the question@brokenv, i can't delete her number,fb etc, i'm too close with her family, so it would a bit rude. and yes i'm trying to be cold, thanks
@WiseOwlE, yes maybe you're right. i've been too fool to understand what love means. and also your comment make me realize what's happening to me. but about dating other women. i'm a bit traumatic with it. thanks btw
@highmaintainance101, yes i'm trying. thanks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): Forgetting someone you truly care about is hard.
You may delete her number, memories that reminds you of her but if she's the one who captured your heart, no matter what you do, she will still be in your memory.
however, i do believe that in time, it will pass.
Your a guy, I'm sure you can forget a girl as easy as 123. that's the way you guys are programmed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): You have a strong attraction to what's far away, rarely seen, or heard from? Whoa! Slow down!!! You are intrigued by her mysterious ways, and thus your desire to have something hard to get is now reaching the point of obsession. It's not the girl, it's the mystique.You're not in love. Love requires you use all of your senses; and it requires the other person to feel the same about you, as you feel for them. It also helps to spend enough time in-person together; to actually know something about them. Their quirks, her smell, her touch, the warmth of her skin. Eye-contact while sharing personal space. How often have you done this, to justify using the word "love?"Such strong feelings require more that what you see on a small screen, or hear on a mobile device. You have to be in love with a real person and not an virtual image. Love grows from two people spending a lot of time together and actually making love. So don't use the L-word unless you're sure she loves you back. It's not a one-way proposition. "Love" in the sense have you used it; takes a minimum of two people. Otherwise; you love yourself; or you're just in love with being in love.You are infatuated with a mystery woman. You are intrigued and entertained by her remoteness. She knows how to tease you and stay just out of reach. My friend, she is playing a game, and you're IT.She knows that she has you wrapped around her little finger; because you told her how you feel on the phone. You stroke her ego and you boost her self-esteem. She gives you just enough to string you along. It obviously doesn't take much.She has never told she loves you; so get a grip dude.Use the L-word only when she tells you, she loves you back.When you both have shared intimate moments other then by text, e-mail, and Facebook. Love is not a word you use casually; and it's not something you fool around with.Love is something real, and too many people throw this word around inappropriately. This is one of those occasions.Put your feelings on hold. You are allowing people to toy with you; when they think you're screwed up in the head, or unstable. She knows there is no possible way you could love someone you barely know. She'll keep her distance; as long as you carry on like a child.She likes to make you drool allover yourself, and tell her how much you adore her. If you continue carrying on like youare; you're going to make a fool of yourself. So calm down!You should be dating other girls; because it's healthy.This infatuation/obsession over an imaginary relationship is getting out of hand. Snap out of it or end it; and allow yourself to come back to reality, before your pursue her any further.You want to be taken seriously and you want to come across as a sane person. You don't get out much; if you get that carried away with so little human interaction.Take it slow and easy. Force yourself to interact with real women. Make sure you are healthy enough to actually participate with a woman in person; before you go head over-heels. What if she never wants to meet up with you? You flatter her with your performance; but she knows better than to make a personal appearance, if you're so obsessed. She will someday disappear for good. She will not form any true attachment to you; because this behavior you're exhibiting is not the type of behavior that tells a woman you are safe to be around. Wait until she gives you something to hold on to; before you give so much of yourself.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv +, writes (18 June 2013):
You seem to be doing all the right things. I think you need to delete her number, facebook, and email. Block them from yours. Go cold turkey!
All wounds take time to heal. Some are deeper than others. I wish there was a simpler answer.
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