A
male
age
41-50,
*ustlaw
writes:I,ve got married to a beautiful girl last year, after few month one day she started sharing about her past life, but some how she was not ready to open up, this kept on going for few days. and then the time came when she shared every thing about her past... she had a boyfriend with whom she made physical relationship for about 2yrs and then got married one day...after one year or so because of some reason they broke up....now when i heard all these stuffs, feel cheated and causing lot's of verbal arguments etc. all her previous life keeps on coming in my mind. i am not able to forget anything... she has told me every thing how she made physical relationship with gay...all those picture comes around in thoughts...how can i forget and forgive her..pls advise me..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): hey U may or may not like my advice bt here it is ..i think every1 has a past n every one do not think abt the future wen dey r wid their love at that point everything looks great bcs they think they r going 2 get married 2 each other bt sometyms wat they think does not happen that does nt mean d gal has no ryt 2 love some1 once again ....she did nt want 2 cheat u if nt she wouldnt have told u this even at this point of tym ...i think u should take it a positive way n love her d way u used 2 before n forget things ... i know its nt easy bt try
A
male
reader, TestPoint +, writes (2 June 2010):
What happened in the past only stays there if it is left there. Your wife has dragged her past relationship into your marriage. I don't know how this could do anything but hurt your relationship with her. You need to ask her why she did this.
My advice is that both of you bury your previous relationships and move forward.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 What exactly do you think you need to forgive? So she had a relationship before she knew you. Big deal. Grow up a bit.
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A
female
reader, straight to the truth  +, writes (30 May 2010):
This woman is not a different woman to who you fell in love with and married and this isn't something that has happened to her while she has known you.
This is all in her past. the only thing you have a right to be angry about is the fact that she didn't tell you before however this is obviously something which has been very hard for her to tell you.
She has finally trusted you enough to tell you everything and you have reacted badly. I can see why you have reacted badly but at the same its not fair on her neither.
she has done nothing to betray you, she isn't a different person to who she was when she met you or married you.
you should be pleased that she has finally found the strength to tell you about her past life before she knew you and you should continue to love the woman you married.
you may not like her past but it should not effect your future. accept her past and move on, live the life you planned together and enjoy it.
There is nothing from the old life tying her to it like children etc so dont let it stop you from having a happy life together.
I wish the two of you the best of luck.
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A
male
reader, Kama  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 I wonder what it is in particular that you can't forgive. I don't know how to "advise" without that info.
For starters, just know you aren't alone, know that you aren't justified in treating her badly, but also know that she has a responsibility to communicate with you and help you through. It takes a strong relationship to deal with these things . . . but I'm getting ahead of myself: what is it you can't forgive?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 I don't think you can ever forget her pasts. You can forgive her and in time the pain will be no more.
We should not judge another person and no one is perfect.All of us have sinned before God and that you are not holier than thou. Don't be so self righteous and self judgmental.
Be humble and accept each other and help each other to overcome their burdens.
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A
female
reader, underground_princess  +, writes (30 May 2010):
Is she cheating on you? No.
Try and remember why you fell in love with her. That's why you are with her now. Rember she is with you.
Perhaps its hard to accept, but she has moved on from that relationship. She hasn't really wronged you has she?
She trusted you, to tell you about her past. Don't make her regret that decision, and just remember the woman you married. Not the woman she was before you met her.
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